Movies

I saw two new movies: How Do You Know and Black Swan.  Both had stellar leading ladies in Natalie Portman, an Oscar contender for sure, and Reese Witherspoon. 

And tomorrow is NYE...

Christmas 2010

So many memories...dinner at Louis', Mexican, shopping with mom at Target, lunch at Panera, lasagna on Christmas Eve, shopping at Partridge Creek, scotch, Joey's train table, canceled flight, working out, the non-blizzard, seeing a movie "How Do You Know," lunch at the Hyatt...I can write more later. But it was good to have time with the family. 

And I do still miss the class of 1990 reunion. 

Atlas Room

On Saturday we dined at the Atlas Room and enjoyed one of the best meals we've had all year. We started with a Blood & Sand, described as having "The Famous Grouse Scotch Whisky, Carpano Italian Vermouth, Cherry Heering, Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice."  We then shared the seafood stew, with cobia, barramundi, shrimp, clams, and majoram cream. All I can say is that it was delectable.  Then we also shared the flatbread with spiced butternut squash puree, goat cheese, and parsely/herb gremalata.  Oh gosh that squash was perfect.  We also shared the lamb duo, described as "saddle and top round, crackling, sauteed mushrooms, fingerling potato, and broccoli rabe." Yum. Almost as good as the Australian embassy lamb!  We also shared a tort/chocolately/wafery dessert.

So good. Great service, a perfect cocktail, and terrific food. We'll be back.

Favorite Albums 2010

The National's High Violet: Favorite Tracks--Bloodbuzz Ohio, England

Band of Horses' Infinite Arms: Dilly, Factory

Delta Spirit's History From Below: 911, Bushwick Blues

Frightened Rabbit's The Winter of Mixed Drinks: Living in Colour, Nothing Like You, The Loneliness and the Scream

The Head and the Heart's The Head and the Heart: Down in the Valley

Josh Ritter's So Runs the World Away: Lantern, Change of Time

Justin Townes Earle's Harlem River Blues: Harlem River Blues, One More Night in Brooklyn

Lissie's Catching a Tiger: Bully, In Sleep

Mumford & Sons' Sigh No More: Sigh No More. Little Lion Man

The Mynabirds' What We Lose in the Fire We Gain in the Flood: What We Gained in the Fire, Let the Record Go, Numbers Don't Lie

Shout Out Louds' Work: Walls, 1999

Sleigh Bells' Treats: Rill Rill, A/B Machines

Stars' The Five Ghosts: Fixed, Wasted Daylight

Tired Pony's The Places We Ran From: Northwestern Skies, Get on the Road

Pretty Good Top Ten

Good top ten list.

Anything with Lissie, the Head & the Heart, Mumford & Sons,  Band of Horses, and Sleigh Bells is good with me.

Great Results Quote

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."
  --  Eleanor Roosevelt

Snow, No

Yesterday we got our first couple of inches of snow for the year. I'd be very happy if that was all the snow we were to receive this winter. I hate winter, I hate snow, I hate how dark it gets so darn early, and I am already ready for March.

And then they were saying it could snow again on Sunday, one year since last Winter's first snowpacolypse. Ugh, ugh, ugh. But now they are backing off. I really don't want to see snow fall again all winter.

I am sort of in a grumpy mood about winter this year, and in denial about Christmas being only 8 days away. I really haven't bought Christmas gifts or even thought about what I want to get. I am most excited to go home to see Joey. And just to get away from the house for a few days.

Boo to the snow, and I hope I get that holiday spirit soon.

2010 Round Up

Lots to read here at Time's Top Ten.

Of note: Baseball's imperfect game by a Tiger, Fringe's Peter episode, top albums like the National,  and much more. Good time waster.

Busy Weekend

We stayed busy this past weekend--picked up the car at Dulles at Friday, then dinner at Liberty Tree (Yummy Lobster Mac & Cheese!), and then watched a Fringe marathon.  Saturday we stopped at the neighbor's house, then off to Baltimore and then to Jenny & John's party.  And Saturday we stopped at baby Cecelia's baptism brunch before watching a day of football with Bill & Jen. I enjoyed getting together with friends, but we were so freaking busy.  And we've got a few more things planned this week, including a super busy Friday saying good-bye to the Brickskeller before it is reincarnated into something new.

I desperately need to start Christmas shopping. I got a WH Christmas ornament for Paul & Megan but that's been it. And a book for the husband. I am a slacker.

Memories V

I was not such a great fan of the Fifth grade. We had our clique, with the Nicoles. Broken by the end of the year and the hazards of cliques appeared. I didn't like my teacher. I remember hearing the news that the sixth grade teacher died. I remember science and hating it. I remember seats together and thinking of my dream house. I remember "staring" and feeling self-conscious. I remember trying and failing to make sports teams, and hating that it was already turning into a clique of popular people, who at one point or another carried Esprit bags or wore Gap jeans.  I remember the last year of those uniform jumpers and wanting to be with the "big kids" at mass. I don't remember liking the fifth grade as much as the fourth.

Better Than Ezra, Again

Sal and I are heading to see Better than Ezra for the upteenth time tonight at the 9:30 Club. I still feel rather sickly with my nasty cold, and it is frigid as all hell out there. But I will have a good time and sing along to the familiar songs, and enjoy the music, just like I did when I saw them for the first time back in 1998.

We saw them last about 18 months ago, and being that they're a big touring band, it was about time they came around again. I've been very negligent in my concert going, with only DMB this year.  I saw several shows on the calendar that I'd love to go to, particularly Justin Townes Earle and Pete Yorn. I need to make an effort to get to the Rock & Roll Hotel, even if it is a school night. I love good music too much not to go!

Update: Set list. 

RIP: Elizabeth Edwards

I certainly did not agree for her politics, but three children lost their mother today. So very sad. RIP Elizabeth Edwards, and I hope you reunite with Wade.

New Favorite Tunes

Thanks to NPR's music, I discovered the Head and the Heart last week and I've been listening to it non-stop since then. They are sort of like the Avett Brothers. Great singer-songwriters, listenable and catchable tunes.

I've discovered lots of new music this year...Mumford & Sons, Frightened Rabbit, the Mynabirds, Matt & Kim, Lissie...great stuff.

Memories IV

Fourth Grade...It was a pretty good year. I remember more math races and Miss Marie. I remember seats in science and having to replicate Jupiter, with that gigantic sheet. I remember hating to compete with Julie for that first seat. I was already getting self conscious. I remember square dancing lessons--no, was that fifth grade? Or fourth? Camp. It was a big deal then.

There were still slumber parties and Girls Just Want to Have Fun and Madonna and Cyndi Lauper and dressing up like we were older.  Is that when Diane moved away?

I remember when only me and Eric B. finished those story problems and we were the only ones to get the trick question right...dozen=12, not 1. 

I remember book club, and getting my new order the day the Challenger blew up. Almost 25 years ago! I remember saying to mom, "The one the teacher was one?" and not knowing how I knew that. Maybe I had heard it on the news. It was a growing realization of the news, having known about things like the Cold War and the anniversary of the Statue of Liberty. A beginning of a political consciousness.

I think things became more socially complicated in fifth grade...fourth grade was ok. Not terrible, not bad.

Memories III

Second grade...not my favorite year. Insecurity, math races, First Communion.  I remember that coffee can bread.  I remember Laura being our lunch girl and doritos.  I remember not being a brownie--or was that third grade? I remember songs. I remember having a little brother in kindergarten.  I remember feeling a little hard to fit in.

Third grade...more math races and feeling self-conscious about winning.  Cabbage patch kids.  Being the kid in the primary grade building, with two little brothers. We made volcanoes and studied the space program. I remember getting my ears pierced.  I remember those green bulb candies.  I remember the Tigers winning the World Series and having Spirit Day/Bless You Boys day.  I remember classmates' losing their dads. I remember the arsons in Detroit and fire engines and sirens. But I think we all blended in, still, enjoying the slumber parties and friends that were boys like Chad and Steve.

Top Ten Lists To Begin

One thing I like about December is that it is best of the year list time. The first lists have already appeared and I'm more of a fan of Paste's Best Albums of 2010/. 

I definitely agree with several of their choices; notably #38 Josh Ritter, #36 Spoon, #34 Girl Talk, #33 Blitzen Trapper, #29 Freelance Whales,  #27 Vampire Weekend, #26 Lissie, #15 Justin Townes Earle, #14 Band of Horses, #11 The National, #10 Frightened Rabbit, #7 Arcade Fire, #6 Sleigh Bells, and #3 Mumford & Sons.  Lots of good choices here...I might have added Shout Out Louds, but I won't quibble, too much.

More best of lists to come!!!

Meme

1. Which would you rather have: the ability to fly, or the power of invisibility? To fly. So I could go home whenever I wanted to.
2. What was your favorite dish at Thanksgiving this year? Stuffing
3. What is your favorite movie of all time? It's a Wonderful Life
4. If you could have an all-expensive paid trip anywhere, where would you go? Italy
5. Describe your favorite pair of shoes ever. Those cheapie target slip ons.
6. No internet or no TV: which would you pick? No tv. different answer if the que!
7. What is your favorite season? Spring. Warmer days, longer days. Least: winter.

Thanksgiving 2010

I feel a bit like I did on Easter yesterday. Missing "my" family who were all together in my original Big D, all of them minus me. I guess Paul will be left out at Christmas, but it makes me sad that we all won't be together.

The Turkey Trot was good but sooo crowded and cold. We finished in 27:16 and 27:17.   And the game was a downer, and we lost after coming back to win.

I am grateful for a number of things. Health, jobs, family, friends.  But this year, I come being bittersweet.  I feel like surviving this year was harder than usual.  And I worry about the next one.

SMC and ND

This sad story, of a 19 year old girl named Lizzy Seeberg, a woman who apparently committed suicide after she was sexually assaulted by an ND football player, is getting some press so soon after another ND student died in an accident.

How sad. And how disappointed am I in both schools. I really hope it is not true that ND waited til hearing about the story in the Tribune before moving forward. I find it sad that some commenters seem to want to exonerate this kid--no evidence, no DNA, he didn't actually finish the rape....whatever. There was something to this, and sad that the University apparently wanted it to stay quiet.

Memories

First grade. Reading groups. Miss Rupinski. Full days and uniform skirts.  And wearing glasses more and more.

Big kids. Straight brown hair and early 80s little girl fashion. Maybe my happiest year in grade school, actually, because we all got along and there was no bullying and we had our reading cliques.  I remember reading Little House books and Beverly Clearly and Charlotte's web and then the Shoes books. Ballet Shoes and Pauline, Petrova, and Posy.

I remember playing outside a lot. Garden. At McGregory. Hide and go seek. Roller skating. Seeing movies. Lots of good memories.

George Washington, Our Greatest President

I just finished, much to my sadness, Ron Chernow's fantastic bio of George Washington. I had never read a bio of Washington before, because he always seemed overshadowed by the more glamorous biography picks like FDR, TR, Lincoln, and Reagan.  But this book was fantastic and filled that void. Whether it was his difficult childhood and prickly mother, his love-hate relationship with fame and money and comfort yet his humbleness and his desire to go back to his beloved Mount Vernon, to his flirtatious ways yet devotion to Martha, to his strength of character, his dignity, his honor, and his devotion, I was so impressed with the man. His love for his family, his country, and his home really transcended Chernow's pages. I was very interested in his description of Washington's desire to free his slaves, yet his knowledge that he depended on them and his fear that his country wouldn't survive their freedom.

George Washington was no saint, but he was a hero. He was a complicated, complex man who was contradictory at times, displayed an ego, struggled to hold his temper in check, was plagued by tragedy and loss, and was a consummate family man despite the fact that he had no biological children of his own.

He was a leader at a time that the infant country desperately yearned for one, and despite his apparent reluctance, he became the greatest of leaders.  He was not a remarkable general, or the most intelligent of men. He was surronded by some of the leading men of all of time, yet he was greater than them all. I really do appreciate now the evocation: First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.  Nearly 211 years after his death, Washington was still alive in the pages of Chernow's book. Definitely my favorite read of 2010.

Memories

Before kindergarten...

Getting glasses. Amy and Diane. Edmore.  Station wagons. Grandma and Grandpa and Grandpa Joe. The cabin. Being a sister. Sunday school.

Kindergarten...learning to read. Being scared. Half days. Superbooks. Sister Teresa. Needing to learn colors and numbers.  Graduating to something more.

Best Bookstores

The world's best bookstores.

I'm skeptical about the one in China--how can it be, with so much censorship there? The only one on the list I've been to is City Lights, and I'm not sure I'd place that at the top.

In DC, the obvious answers are Politics & Prose and Kramerbooks.  Borders and Barnes & Noble are usually the default choices for books, but at least they provide a brick and mortar choice. Nothing compares to flipping through a book and reading a few pages, scanning it to see if you want to buy it. I have three to read: finishing up Chernow's fantastic Washington bio, George W. Bush's memoir Decision Points, and HW Brand's book on the gilded age. Fun!

Rangel

Congressman Charlie Rangel was convicted of committing all sorts of ethical violations of House rules.

What I don't get are why punishments are limited to a House vote deploring his conduct, a fine, and denial of privileges. You only hurt your constituents if you deny privileges, and he's too broke to pay a fine if he can't pay for his legal counsel.  A vote is a slap on the wrist.

I don't get why they waited til after the election to schedule this "trial."  But even more so, I don't get why his constituents voted for such an ethically challenged individual. How sad. 

Two Degrees II

Again, how small is this city.

And there's a lot I can write about this, too.  Rewarding incompetence, overlapping linkages, putting one and one together. Whatever.

Two Degrees...

How small is Washington?

Packard

I can't remember if I linked to this previously, but compelling images of Packard.

It's Okay

To have an afternoon snack. You are hungry!
To have two mini meals.
To drink five cups of water.
To walk home.
To read open documents as read onlys.
To swear no more wine and then drink some the next night.
To just give up at 4:45 pm on a Friday afternoon after little sleep and a 7am flight (even if it was central time).

Birmingham

Another quick trip. I stayed here. We ate here.

Scallops were disappointing.  The sorbet was fantastic, as was the company.

A Little Niece (or Nephew)!

So Joey is going to be a big brother next year! SOOO excited.  In an otherwise crappy day full of craptastic work stuff, this is good news.  He is going to be the best big brother, and I am so excited to have another little niece or nephew to spoil

Bye Wade Phillips

After another embarrassing loss, Wade Phillips is a former Cowboys coach. 

Though there seems to be confusion and disorganization around this. But still, for many Cowboys fans, and one in particular, this is a happy day in Dallas.

Though I think the most celebrating firing ever was the Fire Millen movement.

Name change

So for the third time, I have a new name: 8 Mile Diaries. I want this to be a journal, a diary, like the one I kept for so many years. But I don't always want it to be an intimate recollection of my daily life. Some things are personally private, and others are outrageously public, when I have something to say or to remember or refresh.

So 8 Mile Diaries it is. And maybe I'll revamp this project or do something else.  But no one needs to know.

Is it 6 yet? Or event 5?

Sparky, RIP

And today Sparky Anderson passed away. RIP.

Detroit lost Ernie Harwell, and now Sparky. Two legends in Michigan, and two men that many people have such fond childhood memories of.

Sparky

First Ernie Harwell was sick and passed away, now we hear Sparky Anderson is in hospice care related to complications from dementia.

Prayers for the family.  1984 is a special year for Tigers fans, and all Detroiters, and the fact that it was 26 years ago does not lessen the impact.  We remember it still, when the city was hurting, "Bless You Boys" was the anthem.  Lance Parris and Kirk Gibson and Jack Morris and Darrell Evans and Chet Lemon and Dan Petry and Tom Brookens and the the gang became the old Detroit World Series champion of my lifetime, and of now nearly two generations.  Sparky was their manager, but also their mentor and life coach.  So many prayers for his family.

1994

That fateful, turning point election of 1994 is in the news again, as pundits wonder if the Republicans will repeat the successes of that year.   Others are pointing out that the experts were wrong that year, forecasting far fewer seats than the Republicans ultimately gained.  Still others are concerned that 2011-12 could be as divided as 1995-96, with a government lock-out and an ultimate Clinton reelction.

But Obama is no Bill Clinton.  He's no Ronald Reagan, either.  He has squandered a great deal of goodwill in two short years, alongside his arrogant partner, Nancy Pelosi, and blandly pointless Harry Reid, who may suffer the same fate as Tom Foley did sixteen years ago.

I was eighteen in 1994, and it was my first election. I voted absentee. In an era before the Internet, I don't know how other than Newsweek and the Chicago Tribune I gained my knowledge of the world.  But I remember becoming engaged in the process that year, and it ultimately switched my major from Business to Political Science. I was a charter member of the newly formed CR club, and it was great to meet like-minded women.  Not all young college students are liberals.  In fact, I know now that many are far more conservatively active than I even was.

I remember driving to see Newt Gingrich in Indianapolis Senior Year, and I remember having about 50+ at my first CR meeting as president.  It was an exciting time that truly formed who I am politically.

So hopefully there will be cheery results yet again in 2010, and indeed it will be a good night.  A very good night.  2008 was a temporary aberration, and 2006 showed the hubris of arrogant Republicans. Hopefully they have learned their lessons in humility and can teach a thing or two to the displaced  Dems. And in particular, Obama.

Election Hype

Before tomorrow's results, here are a few things that will be remembered from the 2010 Midterm Elections:

• Christine O'Donnell upsetting Mike Castle, and her inane comments on everything from contraception to witchcraft.
• The tea party candidates, from Rand Paul to Sharon Angle and Joe Miller to of course, Christine O'Donnell.
• Primary upsets from Delaware to Utah to Alaska. And the third party challenges. Colorado governor.
• Charlie Crist's flip flopping.
• Ben Quayle.
• An interminably long campaign season, that really began with 2009's elections in NJ and VA and Scott Brown's election.
• Comparisons to 1994.
• Sarah Palin's endorsees.
• The emergence of Rubio, Rodriguez in NM, and hispanic/black Republicans.
• Poll after poll after poll...
• It'll be the last time before we'll start talking about the 2012 presidential election,which will begin in about 36 hours...
• Americans are just scared, right, Obama?

Confessions

I was a big soap opera supercouple fan.

I like lazy Sundays watching football.

I love handing out Halloween candy.

I love watching 90210 reruns. Seriously, was that twenty years ago?

I facebook stalk.

I don't mind Star Trek.

I have grown to like Tex Mex.

There are times I miss Detroit.

I'd be a music blogger if I could quit my job.

I am rooting for the Lions again.

Krugman is a Moron

My favorite line:

“This is going to be terrible. In fact, future historians will probably look back at the 2010 election as a catastrophe for America, one that condemned the nation to years of political chaos and economic weakness.”

Second:

“In a recent interview with National Journal, he [Obama] sounded a conciliatory note, saying that Democrats need to have an “appropriate sense of humility,” and that he would “spend more time building consensus.” Good luck with that.” Too little, too late.

Obama has had two years to build consensus. Why does he only want bipartisanship now, when he's on the edge of losing a comfortable Congressional majority? Why is consensus only important when the GOP is poised to gain the edge?

2010 is going down in history as the year that voters took back this country. It is the year they will reject Obamacare, reject Cap & Trade, reject the politics of Pelosi, reject card check, reject the stimulus and too big to fail, and reject the role of Government as Big Brother, lecturing us as to what is in our best interests. We aren't scared, or clinging to guns or religion. We have never been more ready to take this country back. Otherwise, the only thing we'll be endebted to Obama is years of crippling debt and ultimate catastrophe.

Things for Thursday...

I had a dream last night, a car trip, I think, and Grandpa was in it. Today is the six year anniversary of his death. Some subliminal way of reminding me? I don't know.  I was very fortunate to have him for 28+ years, but I'm sad that he was the last of that generation of family to be a part of my daily, physical life, and I didn't see as much of him in his last years. I know he is so happy to be with grandma in heaven, though.

I've been enjoying some new music lately.  The Lissie album is lovely, and I think I'm going to download it. In Sleep, Everywhere I Go, Bully, everything on it is touching and catchy. I'm enjoying some Guster tunes, too, and I am a fan of the new Kings of Leon. Man, I missed my computer.

Five days before the election, and I'm so tired of campaign ads. I can only imagine what the rest of the country is feeling. How big will the victory be? Senate majority still in play? Predictions to come!

And it's Halloween. I don't care, other than I want to see Joey in his Donald Trump costume. I was never a huge fan of Halloween. Not a big candy or dressing up fan. It's okay not to be too into Halloween, right?

Time Traveler or Prank

This is fascinating, as the country celebrates the 25th anniversary of Back to the Future.

Babies

Lots of babies lately...I have lost track of them lately, as they arrive every few weeks. LL's had his latest, Jane. Beautiful little girl, named after her big sister. Former housemates, work colleagues, former classmates, friends from DC, and friends from the Georgetown crew. Babies being born in the year of the baby.

Do I feel a bit bittersweet about this? Of course. Of course. I have days when I really want to be a mom, and other days, when I am happy I am able to run 10 miles in 1:23:24 (what a time!).  And days when I feel bittersweet about the entire thing.

Maybe next year. Or the year after.  I don't know when, not in ten or eleven years, though! I just want it to be right.  Whenever that may be, if I am blessed and lucky enough.

Official Results

Gun / Net	Overall	Sex	Div	6.5Mi Split	Net Time	Pace
1:27:03  /  1:23:24	4795 /21636	959/9581	215/2010	0:55:09	1:23:24	8:20

Army Ten Miler

Today I ran ten miles again. And kicked my time from last year--about 1:23:25? I am still waiting for the results.

I met up with Erin and her friends afterward for brunch at Front Page. And I felt good.  Not like great, but I ilwasn't feeling slightly ill at the end of this like I often do at races.  I ate a ton, which was good, because I was hungry!

This is my fourth race of the year...8K, half, 5 miler, and now 10M.  And a 5K to go.

Having gone from being the last picked in gym class to being able to run 10 miles 8:30s is pretty darn good.

Not so much free speech on NPR

NPR fires Juan Williams for speaking his mind about the threat of Islamic fundamentalism and terrorism.

Political correctness run amock.

More--SCATHING!

I say an ideological battle because my comments on "The O’Reilly Factor" are being distorted by the self-righteous ideological, left-wing leadership at NPR. They are taking bits and pieces of what I said to go after me for daring to have a conversation with leading conservative thinkers. They loathe the fact that I appear on Fox News. They don’t notice that I am challenging Bill O’Reilly and trading ideas with Sean Hannity. In their hubris they think by talking with O’Reilly or Hannity I am lending them legitimacy. Believe me, Bill O’Reilly (and Sean, too) is a major force in American culture and politics whether or not I appear on his show.

Years ago NPR tried to stop me from going on "The Factor." When I refused they insisted that I not identify myself as an NPR journalist. I asked them if they thought people did not know where I appeared on the air as a daily talk show host, national correspondent and news analyst. They refused to budge.

This self-reverential attitude was on display several years ago when NPR asked me to help them get an interview with President George W. Bush. I have longstanding relationships with some of the key players in his White House due to my years as a political writer at The Washington Post. When I got the interview some in management expressed anger that in the course of the interview I said to the president that Americans pray for him but don’t understand some of his actions. They said it was wrong to say Americans pray for him.

Later on the 50th anniversary of the Little Rock crisis President Bush offered to do an NPR interview with me about race relations in America. NPR management refused to take the interview on the grounds that the White House offered it to me and not their other correspondents and hosts. One NPR executive implied I was in the administration’s pocket, which is a joke, and there was no other reason to offer me the interview. Gee, I guess NPR news executives never read my bestselling history of the civil rights movement “Eyes on the Prize – America’s Civil Rights Years,” or my highly acclaimed biography “Thurgood Marshall –American Revolutionary.” I guess they never noticed that "ENOUGH," my last book on the state of black leadership in America, found a place on the New York Times bestseller list.

This all led to NPR demanding that I either agree to let them control my appearances on Fox News and my writings or sign a new contract that removed me from their staff but allowed me to continue working as a news analyst with an office at NPR. The idea was that they would be insulated against anything I said or wrote outside of NPR because they could say that I was not a staff member. What happened is that they immediately began to cut my salary and diminish my on-air role. This week when I pointed out that they had forced me to sign a contract that gave them distance from my commentary outside of NPR I was cut off, ignored and fired.

And now they have used an honest statement of feeling as the basis for a charge of bigotry to create a basis for firing me. Well, now that I no longer work for NPR let me give you my opinion. This is an outrageous violation of journalistic standards and ethics by management that has no use for a diversity of opinion, ideas or a diversity of staff (I was the only black male on the air). This is evidence of one-party rule and one sided thinking at NPR that leads to enforced ideology, speech and writing. It leads to people, especially journalists, being sent to the gulag for raising the wrong questions and displaying independence of thought.

Good News

Two of our guys that I've know for a while just received judicial appointments.

The sun is coming out.

Army ten miler is in a few days and I can run.

My new music is back. I missed you laptop.

The Ron Chernow bio on Washington is a must-read.

Even if no one comes to our election night party, we will still have a good time.

New Tunes

The laptop is up and running and all of my very precious, valuable music has been restored. No, it would not have been the end of the world if I had to re-upload some pieces, but I would have been very unhappy.

I am enjoying new tunes by Tired Pony, Lissie, Angus & Julia Stone, Guster, Pete Yorn, and many other finds. Almost too many to recall right now. And I'm listening to the new Kings of Leon right now on Spinner, and I agree that the single Radioactive is quite catchy and maybe worthwhile of purchase.

I really could spend hours organizing and re-organizing my music. In about 10 weeks, I will get to come up with my long-awaited best of 2010.  I have a few ideas of what definitely will go on, like Frightened Rabbit, Shout Out Louds, the National, Delta Spirit, etc. but it will require a great deal of music reviewing to come up with the final list.

Yeah New Laptop

About time!

That is all...

Empire of Liberty

Last night, I finished Gordon Wood's Empire of Liberty, the second book of the Oxford History series.  I've previously read What Hath God Wrought and Battle Cry of Freedom, which covered much of the 19th century.

Like those two volumes, which I enjoyed immensely, I liked the refresher course on the time shortly at the American Constitution.  I'm about to embark upon Ron Chernow's latest on George Washington, and to have a bit of a refresher on Washington's presidency and the 1790s was great. I read quite a bit of this on the train to NY last weekend. It was a quick, easy read. I was a little enthralled with the sections on religion and art, caring more about political history. I enjoyed the chapter on the War of 1812, and it gave me my first good glimpse into the Madison presidency.  Other than his contributions to the Federalist Papers, which Hamilton really deserves the most credit for, I wasn't sure what to think about Madison, other than he was the so-called Father of the Constitution, a close crony of Jefferson's, and someone who promoted a form of republicanism that philosophized on certain ideas while governed on others.  Wood thought the War of 1812 really contributed to strengthening the nation, as opposed to being pointless. Granted, there weren't many casualties, but previously, I really thought the War's greatest effect was in heralding Andrew Jackson's role in political Americana.

Politics was certainly as divided then as it is now, on the eve of the election. There was only one real party at the turn of the 19th century, because the Federalists were nearly no more. I think most folks forget their history when they discuss today's current divisiveness. The Civil War, the 1800 election, the 1876 election, and of course, the 1860 election demonstrate that divisiveness has existed long before the Age of Obama.

Feel Good

The ongoing Chilean miner rescue is in the news today. I watched a few moments of it this morning, and I was struck at how profound and almost spiritual the operation was. The gratitude, the faith in God--truly, the celebration that each and every rescue was an event--it does feel good.  Many have expressed that God was with them over these past two plus months, and in a time when that level of faith is not emphasized, it is a good day.

I am sure Hollywood will dramatize this somehow, but there's no need. What a wonderful story, and as the rest are rescued, I hope things continue to go so smoothly.

And here's one sweet angle:

Richard Villaroel, 26, said by phone that he was excited about reuniting with his wife, who is expecting a baby this week. "I didn't sleep at all last night," he said. "I couldn't."

Birthdays

Not sure I want to write about the latest wedding. So here's a mini tribute to two important from my life:

Grandma would have turned 98 years old on Saturday.  She was a beautiful woman, with beautiful skin, who always had grace and integrity even though she was so sick for so long.  She loved her Charlie perfume.  She loved her fashion and her handbags.  She held such deep religious beliefs, and she is a role model for all Catholic women--all Catholics, really.  Her name, Mary, symbolized the role model she was. She was great with crossword puzzles.  She was a fantastic cook and baker, and I wish I could remember more of her meals, but they were always a treat.  She loved Grandpa, and was a wonderful partner in their marriage.  She had a beautiful smile, and I will always remember her sitting at the back of St. Mark's in her wheelchair, cheerfully greeting everyone.  She was a card shark, pinochle, and I wish she could have taught me to play. 

Paul is my youngest brother, and today he turns 31.  He was a cute kid, a great smile, and irresistible.  He's now a devoted husband, hard-worker, a great fantasy football opponent, and a people pleaser, but that is a good thing.  He is hospitable.  He is friendly.  He is a great sports fan, U-M or Cincinnati or Detroit teams alike.  He likes movies, like Grandpa did.  I am a bit sad that we've been living apart now for over half of our lives, since he was not quite 15 when I started college.  I am a lucky girl to have such great brothers.

Nobels gets it Right, This Time

The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Liu Xiaobo, the Chinese dissident. 

He is someone far more deserving than last year's winner.  He is imprisoned, for his beliefs, because he supports human rights and democracy in China.  And China is aggrieved at this award, threatening relations with Norway.

Good.  This is the kind of person to honor, someone who seeks to create a better world despite facing horrible sanctions.  He is a hero.

No Title Necessary

I am not having a good day.
I've kept my door closed until recently, so I don't appear anti-social.

I'm having a hard time.
I am so worn out, I just want to call my mom and dad and go to them and just be with people who love me, unconditionally and without anything asked in return.

I want to be with people who don't demand my constant apologies, who don't demand that I prostrate myself at my feet and spend a day in tears. Because I need to be the one to forgive. I can't have someone call me horrible names, horrible horrible names, and tell me I deserve it.

All I have ever wanted was love. And I thought marriage would be enough, marriage would bring me that. Instead I am constantly compromising myself, crying bitter tears and wondering if I deserve to be alone, like they told me so many years ago.

And now my door is closed again.

Marie Claire Blogger Controversy

This Marie Claire piece in the November issue has generated loads of attention around the blogosphere, with loads of bloggers alleging author bias, libel, jealousy, hypocrisy etc.

I read the blogs in question, and I agree that the piece does not accurately represent the full picture.  None of the women profiled are overly skinny, and none of them portray themselves as fitness/health experts, though I do think some good points are made.

For example, I questioned their motives for the "Healthy Living Summit" because frankly, only one of them had any real credentials on health, and that was only recently.  A few of them have freely taken corporate endorsements, free trips, ego trips in magazines, etc.  A few of them do appear to have some issues with eating, excessive exercise--it always irritates me to read of "easy-peasy six mile morning runs" without them appearing to have unlimited appetites later.  A few of them have alluded to health problems.  And a few aren't the greatest writers, either.

I hate the culture of groupthink on the comments to the blogs as well, because any criticism is immediately refuted and "trolls" are chastised for being mean girls. Seriously.  Yeah, these girls blog their private lives, never seeking celebrity, but because they accept payment, they are doing a job and are subject to criticism.  If you want fawning, switch to a private blog where only fans can respond. 

Nothing was libelous in the piece, though the author did selectively report on statements designed to fit the angle of the story she was writing.  Seriously, who unquestioningly trusts an author?  You had to be deeply naive to not realize she had an agenda: everyone easily googled her earlier pieces critical of the healthy living movement. And she appeared to have her own issues as well.

It's been interesting being a fly on the wall to this, because while I read, I don't actively participate.  And yeah, it's partly because I can get caught in those comparison traps myself. I'm a decade-ish older, several inches taller, and several pounds heavier than most of these healthy living blogger types.  I have no desire to run a marathon, mostly, though there are times I wonder why I lack that motivation. I see the toll that it takes on their bodies, and a few of them constantly complain about long runs. Why in the hell do you need to run a sixth marathon when you don't enjoy it? And I do think some of them hold superior attitudes about their eating habits, but when you work at home all of the time, of course you have more flexibility in what you eat.  But not all of us have that luxury.  And yes, a couple of them appear to have wealthy families backing them up. Such is life.

Interesting to see if MC responds.  I actually think they are the best of all of the woman's magazines. Yes, they are a bit hypocritical, especially with an anorexic looking Victoria Beckham on the cover.  But they routinely run social/human interest stories, talk about jobs/careers/money issues, and they certainly don't pander to the Cosmo crowd.  Those who are so critical probably haven't picked up an issue. And I certainly have no intention of canceling my subscription because of this. Frankly, Self's awful airbrushing of Kelly Clarkson and its anorexic/orthorexic editor in chief offend me far, far more.

Texas

Julie's wedding, despite a little drama, was fantastic.  Having mom and dad there was special, and I miss them already.  They arrived Thursday and we drove to South Padre and had dinner at Dirty Al's and drinks at Wahoo's--mom really liked the Wahoo drink!  Friday was more food, stuffing ourselves at Los Alsados, and watching Aly enjoy his ribs at their rehearsal dinner. Saturday was the wedding, with a touch service at church followed by a buffet dinner at the Harlingen Museum.  Really very special few days.

It has been a tough couple of weeks. I'm exhausted, feeling fat through this inexplicable weight gain, and I don't like the change of season. I wish someone would just admit that Fall isn't the best season! I prefer spring, when days grow longer and warmer, instead of shorter and colder. It's cold out today, and it's been rainy and dreary.  It was great being back to summer in Texas, and I rather appreciated that.  I'm tired of looking out at gray skies in the 36 hours or so we've been home.

And it was nice having family nearby. It's so hard without it, so hard not having familiar faces to vent to nearby.  It was cute seeing mom and dad dancing; I'll remember that.  It was great having a baby and kids running around, and it made my heart yearn for that. It was great to feel comfortable. At least the holidays are just around the corner.

I miss my laptop

I'm dying without new music. SO many good CDs out like the new KT Tunstall and Tired Pony. I want Tired Pony!

That is all.

I really, really, really will not miss work for the rest of the week. Not at all.

Review: Never Let Me Go

Over the weekend, I just finished Never Let Me Go, by Kazuo Ishiguro.  Oh, what a sad, devastating, just utterly wretching story. 

Kath was the stone-cold narrator, reminiscing about her friends and her school Hailsham, as she neared the end of her tenure as a carer.  She cared for those clones whose organs were harvested because they were less than human, not so possessive of a soul.  Though these beings demonstrate their humanity in every aspect, exhibiting jealousy and anger and resentment and friendship and love.  The ethics of the issues involved are compelling and difficult, though no one can doubt the inevitable right to live these individuals possess.  It was sad and bittersweet and how brave and strong and ultimately weak and passive Ruth, Tommy, and Kathy were when it came to their ultimate fate.

This is one of those tales that just linger with you.  There was some trashy commercial from some soft drink with a blathering girlfriend, and the narrator of the ad suggested that you could just clone yourself so you wouldn't have to listen.  And I was sort of outraged by that--clone yourself, give that individual a task you don't want to do? How thoughtless. I was thinking about all of them, and I was glad that the tragic tale ended before Kathy's "completion."  That would have been too much to bear.

Navy Five Miler

Yesterday I ran the Navy Five Miler, alone. The weather was overcast and drizzly and I was afraid I really would be running in a downpour.

The race was crowded at the start, and having us retrace our steps in the beginning didn't help. But things broke apart after Mile 1 and the crowd spread out in Mile 2.  And it definitely opened up in Mile 3, the dreaded hill up Columbia Pike. If last year's race route was even hillier, than just ugh. But the downhill slope helped, and I did good until the end. And as almost always, I push so hard as the finish line is in sight,  I feel a bit sick. But a quick cool down later, and I think I was ok. Finished in 42:30 or 42:40? Times still do not seem to be posted. Ugh again. Not quite the St. Patrick's Day race, which was dryer and flatter, but I will take it, because 8:30 miles are always good for me. My goal for the Army Ten Miler Part II is solid 9 minute miles, no more, no less. I know there is a big hill at the end of it, so I need to conserve some strength for that. And with the travel schedule coming up, I know I don't have much time for long runs, though I hope I can squeeze something in on Wednesday morning.

I did like the set up for the race, especially with parking so close. And the long-sleeved navy t-shirts were fantastic. The food was eh, the apples were at least edible. I hate how the cookies and muffins are SO fattening, because they negate the run. Have a few more healthier options--granola bars or something!

SO...results were 42:38, for an average of 8:32/minute. I came in 99th out of 909 women, in the top 11%.  Overall, it was 455th out of 1942, for a rank in the top 24%. Not too bad!

An Embarrassment for Congress

The Dems think this is serious news.

OK, Nancy Pelosi. I know you think this is "appropriate" but if this is all you have, if this is what you think is serious and not a waste of taxpayer dollars, you'll have a lot of time to think about this when the Dems lose control of the House in November.  And nothing against Stephen Colbert, but no one is forcing you to watch Green Acres.

I can't believe I agree with John Conyers. What a joke.

Visitor

I was lucky enough to see Donna again briefly, last night. She was in town for a conference. It's been so nice seeing her this past month, and I'm sad to think it could be awhile before we get together again. Now I look forward to seeing mom & dad.

There are times that marriage can be lonely...well, that is not the best word to use at time.  I think not having a super close friend here in town can be lonely, though I'm fortunate to have people like Liz and Jenny here. I think it's more of a matter of not having anyone who has known me for more than a decade or so here, because sometimes having a longer history is a good thing.  Something to cherish.  And yeah, it is hard to make friends.

And not that I don't consider my husband my best friend, not at all. But it is what it is, because sometimes female friendships are something you just need in a different way.  And easing into those relationships with people you have not seen in a year or two, it is so easy. So darn easy.

Falling into Fall....

What I will remember about this summer:

The Heat.
St. Lucia.
Detroit in May.
Lots of work travel.
Getting our new furniture.

What I am looking forward to this Fall:

Cooler temperature.
Julie's wedding.
A quieter house.
Getting my laptop fixed, or unfortunately, replaced.
Staying home.
And a sixth item...the new TV season. Yes, I am an incurable romantic and I am SO happy about Huddy on House. Love House. Love Cuddy. Love their sexy scenes and witty banter. And "I lobe you" is so "I glove you," right??!!

Sigh. At least I can look forward to seeing Donna tonight!

Laptop Misery

So my computer is still in intensive care and I'm considering a transplant as a last ditch effort. UGH. Not good. I'm feeling naked without having constant access to the computer, and a blackberry is just not an ample substitute.

Sigh. Please something go right this week.

And I notice that my other post labeled technology is about how I LOVE my then-new computer. And now, a little more than 2.5 years later, not so much. HATE that computer. I miss my music!!!

Too Much to Do Weekends II

Between computer's blue screen of death, husband's stress, Cowboys imploding, and being over-extended, not to mention work frustrations, I've had a better time of it than recently. Sure, the weekend was jam-packed: drinks at E&C with Chris & Stacy, dinner with Liz & Eric at Bistro Cacao, or volunteering at the H Street Festival, with upwards of 20,000 attendees.

I am SO burned out. SO burned out. I just want to take a mental health day and not do anything. Though my mental health break would consist of running around like a crazy woman. Picking up shoes, waiting for furniture, squeezing in a run, going shopping, etc.

I need to breathe. I need to relax. I need to put aside the daily stresses of everyday life and know that I need to take time for me. Selfishly for me. But I'm not so good at that.

The Three I's of Detroit

Ignorance, illegitimacy and isolation.

When I saw that guy with the anti-gentrification sign yesterday at the otherwise glorious H Street Festival, I see that here. And that is what drives people to vote for Vince Gray on the belief he will drive away progress, kowtow to the unions, and impose diversity on a city that is already diverse in beliefs, colors, backgrounds, ideologies.

Sad.

Because She's a Woman?

So I'm not sure I entirely buy Jeri Thompson's argument about Christine O'Donnell. I honestly don't think her sex has anything to do with it. You don't hear Meg Whitman or Carly Fiorina called unqualified on the basis of sex. I'm not even sure I'd even call O'Donnell unqualified, though I really don't get how she got where she did, without looks and charisma being a factor. I think she does appeal to ordinary, every day citizens who are tired of the elite politicos in Washington not giving a damn about their perspectives. Joe Biden was sort of an every man, wasn't he, who commuted on the train and was one of the least wealthy members of the Senate. Frankly, it can't be too big of a surprise that a non-wealthy, every day type of person won the GOP nomination over a long-term Washington insider.

So I don't think it is sexism that is driving these charges of her being unqualified. I think it's more the fact that she has ethical issues, she hasn't really had a real job and the one she had at ISI resulted in a law suit, she has made all sorts of other charges like insinuating that Castle's staff broke into her campaign office/home. She seems a little unbalanced.

True, there aren't a lot of smart conservative women in politics, but it's changing. Susana Martinez will be elected governor of New Mexico. California could elect both Whitman and Fiorina. There are women running for senate in Nevada, New Hampshire, and Connecticut. It's not about sexism. It's about finding the best candidate, the most conservative candidate, and the one with the highest character and ethics. I don't think Christine O'Donnell fits that bill.

Vince Gray vs. Adrian Fenty

This DCist thread sums up much of what I find distasteful about the recent Vince Gray win over Adrian Fenty. As a Republican, I really don't have much of a voice in who is running my city. I've accepted that. But it seriously irks me the way "white voters who came here from the midwest and now want a voice" are being brushed off like we're some idiots who should just shut up and let blacks have their candidate win. The racial undertones in this are all ridiculous, because it's largely blacks who are criticizing. Courtland Milloy and other black Post columnists are basically saying "You rich whites are driving poor blacks from the city with your dog parks and your condos and your swanky coffeeshops."

Maybe that makes us all racists. Maybe it makes those of us who came from cities like Detroit, who believe in being in a city, contributing mightily to its tax base by buying property and goods and earning income here, contributing to public schools that we'll never send out children to, and parks and rec centers we don't frequent, maybe it makes us all racists. Maybe we should just go to Virginia.

It's not about democracy. Voters didn't want Fenty, they wanted Gray. That's all well and good. But to paint us as racists for voting for a black mayor who was a bit arrogant but actually seems to have made the city a more livable place--is that such a bad thing? Why is this a racial thing? Why is Michelle Rhee a scapegoat because she's taken on the teacher's unions?

I have really soured on being a DC resident this week. It's not worth it.

Struggling

I feel like I've been struggling with weight the last few weeks, up a few more pounds than I'd like. I don't know if it's alcohol, too much salty indulgence, the lack of stress, too much computer time, the lack of sleep, or a combination of all of the above. I guess the latter. I don't like feeling "fat" or bloated, and I know I need to mix up the running. But I'm struggling.

I want to look good as a bridesmaid and at the upcoming weddings, and I want to look good for myself. And my husband. I just need to mix it up. Maybe there is something to this yoga/pilates long and lean thing, though that never really has been my body type. But if I get through the Army Ten Miler, it'll be winter and time to hibernate a bit. To be better to my body, and healthier.

Boo to Delaware Republicans

If this holds up...Christine O'Donnell seems to have a pretty sizable lead over Mike Castle. SO disappointing. The woman is an idiot, and she's going to lose us any chance of GOP control of the Senate. She is a pathological liar. This is so deflating. I don't even believe she is a real conservative.

I'm all for voting for conservative candidates over RINOs, don't get me wrong. But this idiot--who is comparing herself to Ronald Reagan--lied about her education, Castle's record, sued ISI over gender discrimination, lied about her mortgage, etc. It's really sickening.

And it was just called for O'Donnell. Who are these people voting for her???

Toronto

I was procrastinating a bit writing this post, because it was a lovely weekend spent with good friends and I don't want to forget it. I really miss those ladies. I miss have a good friend here, who has known me forever, and will be there when I need them. And being able to be there for the friends. But hey....

We arrived and went to a super noisy, night-clubesque Spice Route. Once our ears stopped ringing, we went to Donna & Jeff's fantastic little condo right across from the Sky Dome/Roger's Center and Lake Ontario. So awesome...beautiful running trails and such a perfect location.

The next morning we went to the best brunch I think I've ever had. This great little French bakery. I had a quiche with the best eggs ever. So light and so fluffy. We walked along the lake and then went over to the Distillery District for Balzac's Coffee. Such a good chai latte! We walked around the Market. That night we had dinner at this Persian restaurant Banu. SO good too. I had a vodka sekanjebin with shaved cucumber and mint. We split nan o paneer (sirloin kabob) and a chicken kabob, along with a lentils salad. Finally we had martinis at an Irish bar because Pravda was closed. No, I did not get a tattoo!

Sunday we had brunch/lunch at Trattoria Nervosa and I had a funghi & formaggi pizza with mushrooms, prosciutto, gorgonzala goat cheese, and onions. SO good. Followed by yet more delicious coffee. Then we browsed and stalked celebrities in town for the Toronto Food Festival. Never saw them, just wasted time.

But the trip was not a waste of time. I remember thinking as we slowly walked along: slow down. You're going too fast. You're in a rush too often, and you don't take time to appreciate and savor and soak in the moment. The weekend went by far too quickly, and I don't know when I will see Michelle again. Luckily, Donna will be back, and I'm happy about that. But gosh, how long has it been since we were dorm neighbors. I looked at a few old photos last night, and I was both sad and bittersweet and happy at the same time. We had a fantastic weekend, and I am SO glad we did it.

Five Things to Be Grateful For

1. Ladies weekend in Toronto.
2. Listening to Tired Pony at lunch.
3. Leaving work early.
4. Cool weather, finally.
5. The start of the NFL season.

Sad thing: Hubby is going away for a few days to a place I'd love to go back to. Sigh.

Could be Interesting...

Johnny Knoxville's film about Detroit.

Filming Detroit is the next big thing, as Detroit 1-8-7 premieres. There was also Scream 4. And this link has more shoots.

All of this should be good for the city, bringing it positive attention that it deserves. Hopefully there will be more of it to come.

My Tribute to Paste

The other day I noted that Paste will cease publishing a print magazine. I'm very sad about that--since I started subscribing I have learned of many new artists, which I mentioned a few the other day. I've learned about new music in a few ways over the years--Sunday night radio, Virgin samplers (RIP), WOXY (RIP), and Paste. Discovering new music and falling in love with an artist has been one of the few creative outlets I've had, along with running. It's so fantastic to hear someone new and find that you just love and connect to their music. Paste has facilitated that, and I always looked forward to getting their samplers. One reason I bought this computer was because their CDs weren't downloading to my Dell!

Anyway, I know there are tons of music blogs I can use to find new tunes, and right now, I will continue to rely on All Songs Considered as one site. Paste is still updating its site too, but it isn't the same. I am an old-fashioned girl who still subscribes to a newspaper, and I prefer reading a hard copy to staring at a screen. Paste magazine will be very missed.

Shorter Nights

I took a peek outside around 7:30 and I noticed that the sun was already setting. Boo. I guess we're almost at the equinox, and the sun rises later and sets sooner. I hate it being dark so early. I like the evenings to run. I guess if anything will get me out of bed early, at least for a bit, it will be that fact. Though sheesh, where did the summer go?

It's Labor Day, and I'm tired of laboring. I did my Lincoln run, for the second time this weekend, despite the blisters. Boo to that. I did a little shopping, saw Steve at work, and read some of Empire of Liberty. Watching some of the very entertaining VA Tech vs. Boise. I do not want to go to work tomorrow.

Where did the summer go? We went to St. Lucia, in the most over-hyped vacation ever. Saw both of our nephews. I traveled more than I care to remember, from Chicago to NY to Connecticut to Miami to NC to San Francisco to San Diego. I forget when and where, it all blurs together. And Toronto is this weekend, which seems like the real end of the summer for me. Because football is starting, and then we have weddings and other Fall things to anticipate.

And early evenings, though lower temperatures, and races to run and pumpkin and apple to replace berries and melons. I haven't had an apple in forever. I am going to miss watermelon. I ate a lot of it this summer.

And schedule adjustments to make. Because summer is ending.

Weekend

Keeping it low key for Labor Day weekend. We did have Shea's party yesterday...18 years here in DC. Wonder if I will make it to my half life in DC, at 44, a decade from now? It's a goal, we shall see.

Today I got 50% off at Banana and splurged on a new suit. First Banana suit I've ever bought. For me.

And I scratched mosquito bites and am dealing with blisters. Ugh. That is what I'll remember this Labor Day weekend.

9/02/10 Day

Several entertainment sites are pointing out that today is 90210 day...9/02/10...September 2, 2010. Get it? I was a big fan of the show in the 1990s, though I don't think I really started watching til the second half of the first season. I remember some girls at Star talking about it. The show was a bit risque then...teenage sex, alcohol issues, stuff that was very scandalous twenty years ago. Actually, that is the real milestone: Twenty years ago, this coming October 4th, marks the big anniversary. Twenty years ago I started high school. And that was such a big deal!

I still watch 90210 reruns on Soapnet, when I get a chance. I liked Donna & David, and I'm glad they hooked up at the end. I didn't like Kelly Taylor then, but I'm a bigger fan of Jennie Garth now. Shannen Doherty was like the original bad girl, long before Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton were teens. Though Shannen was so tame; it's ridiculous now.

90210 also shaped popular fashion, music, lingo, and just overall style at a time I was in high school. How things have, and have not changed, since.

First WOXY...

now Paste ceases publication.

What a bummer. I hope the website still releases its samplers...I have discovered so much great music through the site, like Goldfrapp, M83, Sonya Kitchell, Bon Iver, The Watson Twins, Elizabeth & the Catapults, and so many others. Big bummer.

Still Struggling

I'm still out of sorts, in my funk. Boo. It's also 96 degrees outside and it's September. And I'm tired of work, tired of Washington, and all I want to do is just crash somewhere comfortable, away from everyone.

I don't know how to turn this around. I really feel like it's time to have a kid. And I know Steve is reluctant about that. I am tired of not having my feelings taken primarily into account. There has to be more to life than this, because I'm tired. And I'm tired of complaining and feeling, again, out of sorts on everything.

Not much to say. Just what's on my mind today.

Makes Me Smile

So I wanted to write about this guy, in case I ever forgot about it. Several mornings a week, on our way to the office along H Street, we pass this man I call the spinning guy or the twirling guy. He has this wacky workout of twirling around as he runs down the street. I've seen him as far down as 8th or 9th or 10th street, or as close as North Capitol. He is in fantastic shape, always smiling and chanting and wearing about the same workout gear. But everyone laughs when they see him. He's pure joy at a time we'd rather be at home in bed, or anywhere but driving into work. Just had to remember him.

Time To Myself

Steve's at his fantasy draft, and I'm decked out on the nice new sofa watching SVU. I've been craving some time to myself these last couple of days, and I need more. Maybe I should take Friday off, or a Friday off soon. I'm exhausted. I'm mentally exhausted. I don't know if it was being extroverted at work travel events or social engagements or what. All I know is that I just want to be alone.

There's lots about summer I like--daylight, being outside after that long winter--but I'm ready to nest in the Fall and Winter. Just be home alone and focus on myself and my husband and my home.

Labor Day is late this year, and I feel like I've been laboring long enough. I need to find some balance. I just finished Eat, Pray, Love and I definitely empathized with Liz Gilbert's year away--her sabbatical, if you will. She was my age--34--as she began her journey, and I think that point in your life, if you've been working 18 years like I have been--you need some respite. It doesn't matter if there was a divorce or something traumatic or just a moment of instability, internal or external.

I am trying to be nice to myself in little moments--getting lunch, coffee, Rita's on a Sunday afternoon, etc. But I think I need to make a major attempt to be kind to myself, more than just a nice gesture. I need to make a grand gesture to get out of this funk. I feel like I've gained a few pounds, am exhausted of the bickering at work, and tired at the ordeals of the house.

I will find a way to deal, I always do. But right now, I feel like it's more than a funk.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Been a lousy week, so I'm trying to cheer myself up by thinking of things that make me happy.

A new haircut.
A new music discovery.
Goat cheese.
Salt bagel with cream cheese.
Being at my "happy" weight.
The grocery store.
Target.
Looking at pictures of Joey.
Our new furniture.
A new magazine.
Temperate temperatures (80s!)
Bowl of buttery, salty popcorn.
Leaving work.
Being with my family.
Farmer's markets.
Homemade pesto.

New Music Lately

I've been on a buying spurt of new albums lately. The new Ra Ra Riot is going to get mediocre reviews from me. Boy is the strongest single, and the rest of the album is much more mellow. Arcade Fire is fine, but not something I'm going to listen to often. The suburban vibe does resonate, though. I am glad I finally broke down and bought Infinite Arms, from Band of Horses. I had downloaded several of the singles already, and when it was a bargain sale on Amazon, I had to get the rest. It's good, rootsy, listen-able music I can run to or just have on in the background. I also bought the Mynabirds, which I've already listened to several times. Great music--Dusty Springfield is often the comparison--but it sort of reminds me more of Duffy. Love that. I also bought Delta Spirit, just because I loved Bushwick Blues. Such a great tune, and a definite on my list of favorite songs of 2010 (wow, only four months left in the year, already!).

So what is next? I am sure I will find something I like quite a bit.

Drained

I am just drained by the last 24 hours. Last two plus weeks, actually.

San Francisco to floors to furniture to condo to Texas to workplace explosions. And back to back dinners when all I really want to do is stay at home and relax. And breathe. Stay calm, stay calm.

I am looking forward to seeing Liz & Cindy for drinks tonight, martinis actually. Last night was actually nice with Kathy and Sally and the liter of beer (literally). It just amazes me that a bladder can hold that much beer! And for a while I felt better, and more relaxed, and calmer. I stayed calm.

And a few hours later, laying in bed, yeah, my heart was racing once again.

I am tired of getting emotional and having people walk all over me. It isn't fair to myself, and my integrity, to quiver and sob about that kind of callousness. And I just want to stay calm and not feel so emotionally and physically drained.

Working Woes

There are days like today, when it's been a frustrating morning, that I really think it would be awesome to be SAHM.

Or maybe a college student. It's been sixteen years--nearly half my life--since I moved into the dorms as a freshman. Steve's commemorating 18. I remember college seeming like such an abstract concept back then, and now I barely remember the anticipation of going back to school, seeing old friends, and having some of that independence that seemed so elusive at the time.

I'm not in the camp that believes college is the best time of your life. I believe you have many wonderful periods in your life--the years of being single with your first paycheck, being engaged, being a new parent, having kids who are "people" and not babies who can't communicate with you, being an empty nester, etc. There is something special about college, because you rarely have time in your life to explore your academic passions with all of your best friends around you. It does go by far too quickly, and you do miss those days. I don't know if I'd go back, though, but I would have savored more if I could have known.

Sixteen years does seem an impossibly long time, at times. Having seen Donna last week, we briefly touched on the "would you have gone there again?" question that comes up every so often. I don't know, and we both had that sense of "well, it brought me along the path I'm traveling on now." There's always a sense of what other path I could have taken, though, that would have meant more or less success. But I wouldn't be sitting here, I don't think, with this ring on.

I guess you come to terms with your choices and move forward. And remember fondly, while not looking back to far, either.

Texas, Again

Yet another trip done. We were in Harlingen for Julie & Rob's engagement party. It was a super quick trip, leaving Friday night and returning approximately 49 hours later. We ate lots of food, drank too much, spent too much time on fantasy football, and slept far too little. Worked out far too little. I am ready for my run right now.

People in TX are geared up for November 2. They are as convinced as we are that the direction of the country is headed south, but not in a way we'd prefer. Down, down southwardly. But it's a good 10 weeks away or so, and we must be patient.

Crazily enough, I've been snacky all day. And I'm sure a run won't remedy that, either...Sigh.

Long Week, Long Trip Ahead

We had a good condo meeting last night, and my reward was seeing Donna. It was later, and shorter than expected, but seeing a good friend after so long (two years!) was so worth it. And she'll be back, and I will see her in Toronto! I am so excited about it.

Between NC, furniture delivery, condo stuff, draft order, seeing her, flying to TX, and everything that is going on next week, I am forgetting to breathe. I haven't had much of an opportunity to work out this week, and the prospect of getting out of bed at 6:30 a.m., after 4-5 hours of sleep, was just not a good one. So I slept and walked at lunch. And we are leaving in an hour to sit by the gate and drink a beer and eat a burger or whatever and just breathe. And be grateful we have family to visit, a great friend who had her own 4am wake-up call, and jobs that can support our travel plans.

We will be OK, and it will be busy and hectic, but we will be OK. And I will SO enjoy a free weekend when we get one, whenever that may be!!!

Eventide

We dined out last night at Eventide with Laura & Ed. The restaurant was swank yet comfortable, with black leather seats that were sort of amusement park like with a door that opened up the booth. The food was delicious--I had the lobster gnocchi which I ate every last bite of, and Steve had pan seared Alaskan halibut with parmesan grits, fava bean cream, pickled okra, roasted corn, fava beans, and marjoram. Those grits were the best thing ever, and it was so fresh and seasonal. The gnocchi had Roasted corn, cherry tomatoes, chopped basil, baby arugula, lobster/corn butter. Corn, yum. Afterwards we split a slice of vanilla mascarpone cheesecake with Espresso granita, chocolate-covered espresso beans, dark chocolate caramel, milk chocolate crema. Oh good.

But the two bottles of shiraz (name not on the website) were the best...so good and juicy and fruity. I'd come back for the wine!

And conversation flowed too...from work to tea parties to children to religion to football. Nice evening, even if it was a bit pricey. I do endorse Eventide and would love to go to their lounge to try that out next time!

New Furniture

After my < 24 hours in Winston-Salem, I rushed home yesterday and we drew for the fantasy draft (last, boo!) and sold one of the wine racks. And today, I took a few hours off to await our new furniture, which includes a sofa, coffee table, dining room table, steamer bar, and a 46" television. Entertainment center and chairs yet to come.

And paint, yeah. It never ends, does it?

Hopefully tomorrow's meeting won't be as stressful as I fear it will be. My reward is seeing Donna afterwards, and wow, will it be good to see her. I plan on trekking to Whole Foods to pick up a few things so we can entertain, even if it's only for cocktails. And then Texas. And then lots of dinners. Gosh, I miss running. If it's nice in the morning, I am in such a need for a run.

Another Trip

I'm off to Winston-Salem soon. Yet another trip. I'm burnt out thinking of it, but I will have a magazine to read and possibly a book.

I saw Eat, Pray, Love last night with Meg. I enjoyed it--pretty much fluff, beautiful scenery and eats, a story most 30-somethings can relate to on some level, and just a generally entertaining flick. I haven't seen any movies at all this summer, so I was glad to get out with a friend. Julia Roberts can be both annoying and endearing at the same time, but she's so under-exposed these days compared to Angelina and reality stars and whomever else is on the latest cover of Us Weekly. She is doing her thing, raising her family, and staying out of the limelight.

How is it already mid-August? I swear I do not know where the summer has gone. One more trip later this week, and then a break til September. Not much of a break, but it'll be Toronto!

Saturday Night

Stephen is finally off to his bachelor party, and after a day of errands...run/car/shop/take care of cranky husband, I'm home, with zucchini bread in the oven and a tummy full of risotto and shrimp. Yum. I am happy, except for the fact that the only station I can turn on upstairs happens to be the weather channel. WTF?

I want to exercise tomorrow, go to church, and then see Eat, Pray, Love with Meg. My day. My time. I'm feeling so stressed right now, with way too much going on and not to mention a cranky husband. I just want to chill out. I just want to have a "me" day.

We don't do that enough. We don't spend enough doing whatever we want to do. Me, me, me. That is what I'm talking about. I need some sanity before face the week ahead, largely doing what I have to do, with both the good and the bad together.

Too Busy

So too much going on after this weekend. It's a span of NC-dinner out-new furniture-Donna!-Texas-dinner out-dinner out-event-possible visitors. Sigh. I really need some relaxing time but then I responded to a movie request. We shall see.

Hopefully this weekend will have some relaxing time, as we start to put the downstairs together from the new floors and await our very long awaited, very anticipated new furniture. I am just looking forward to having the place be "normal" and be able to veg out on a comfortable new sofa.

As for tonight, gym or dinner out or what will win out? Just glad to be home and not traveling this weekend!

So Tired

Sleepiness just hit me like a brick. I'm drained and I need to go for a run tonight. But now I feel so tired I could sleep here.

Gonna close my door for a few and snooze.

This travel is too much.

Home

Today was a day "off" but after a red-eye, errands galore (oil change, Target, bridesmaid dress, hair stuff, etc., yet another purchase at Crate), I don't feel like I had much relaxing time. Plus the entire house smells like polyurethane after all of the floor work we have had done. I am very optimistic that everything will look nice once we complete the work, but we'll be a little broker too. And it will be worth it.

Only two trips next week, sheesh. I am tired of travel. San Francisco was great but I was so tired yesterday and I still have not slept. After B&N, I walked back toward Chinatown and the Italian part of town. I stopped in the (in)famous City Lights bookstore, and then got a bite to eat. I was feeling woozy and dehydrated. After some time chilling in the airport and two glasses of wine, I made it home. And one more Peet's scone.

So I've put on a few pounds, and I find it a bit inexplicable. Granted, I've been eating crap lately, but I have maintained regular workouts and the scale jumped overnight, almost literally. I am going to stick to salads the next couple of lunches and just be healthier again. Almost like a detox. Even the bridesmaid's dress was tight! I think the heat, lack of sleep, irregular eating, and just general stress of a hectic month have caught up with me. It'll be okay, I'm sure. I will get up earlier and run again tomorrow, and I will be far, far away from San Francisco thai food. Oh god that was good.

And the weekend ahead should be quite quiet, right? That is a good thing. Next week, though, not so much! But our furniture will arrive, work travel will end, and that I am looking forward to.

San Francisco

I'm sitting in a Barnes & Noble near Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. Trying to decide what to do next. The convention is over, and it's 2:30. And my flight leaves at 10pm.

I might see a movie or find some wine. I've already walked through Chinatown and had some Boudin, like a full loaf practically of sourdough. And I have some Ghiradelli Chocolate, and I desperately need to brush my teeth.

Last night I had wine here. The Press Club was good wine with good friends, and I was happy to have that diversion.

But now...not so sure. It's cold here, and I've already walked almost 3 miles, I think, and I ran three this morning. It would have been smart to pack a gym ba for the gym but oh wel.

Think I'm going to browse a bit, maybe hit TJ's, slowly head toward Union Square, and then figure it all out. I should refrain from spending money.

Crazy Raining

It's about to start thunderstorming outside. Dark and ominous, windy and deserted streets. I'm having a bored day, so I am enjoying some down time just staring out the window and listening to the Avett Brothers.

And now sirens.

It is fitting my mood today, bittersweet and melancholy and just down. I'm not sure why. Dissatisfaction with work, tired from travel, overwhelmed with house stuff, homesick a bit, feeling bloated, etc. etc. A good rain can be like a good cry and wash some of this away.

I've been following the Operation Beautiful blog stuff. I still don't buy the concept, because while positivity is all well and good, it's also superficial. It doesn't address, or embrace, the fact that some people live unhealthy lives and need a serious wake-up call. No, everyone is not beautiful. Some people are ugly and they don't have a beautiful bone in their bodies. Some people need to find the strength from within to improve, not a Generation-Y endorsed "We're all wonderful!" message. Seriously. I think it being so Gen Y is what irritates me the most.

Rain rain don't go away. I am enjoying it right now.

Twenty Years Ago III

So I could be off by a day or two, but 20 years ago our family left Detroit and settled in Fraser.

I lived in Fraser for four years, went to high school in GPW and Royal Oak, and then left for Indiana in 1994. Four years later, I came to DC and I have never left. So after twelve years, DC is so much more home than Fraser was.

But it's still "home." Detroit is home, Fraser is home, it is where my family is and where I grew up.

Michigan is at a crossroads this year, just like in 1990 when John Engler was elected. Yesterday was the primary, pitting Virg Bernero vs. Rick Snyder. Not the top choice for many Republicans--more people voted against him yesterday than voted for him--but I am hopeful he will prevail in November. Just like twenty years ago, Michigan will elect a Republican governor in November.

And things will get better.

Arcade Fire

I haven't been a fan of Arcade Fire, but I've been listening to their new album off and on today on All Songs Considered and I like it. It's also on sale at Amazon, so I might just have to buy it. Why not?

It's made an annoying day more bearable, which is always good. And yeah, it's been one of those days....

Two Years

Two years ago today we got married, at a beautiful chapel on a beautiful campus on a mostly sunny, warm day in front of our friends and family, in a town we both now call home. We were blessed.

Ten things I want to remember from that day...

1. Spending the night before by myself.
2. Mom dancing.
3. Dad eking out a smile or two.
4. Paul's hangover.
5. The Piano Man.
6. That beautiful dress.
7. The limo having issues getting to the church.
8. The brief rain storm before the cocktail hour.
9. T's toast.
10. Searching for that damn passport!!

Has it really been two whole years???!!!

Morton's

We had a nice anniversary dinner last night, caesar salads and filet and shrimp and pie. Key lime pie to take home with us. Good stuff. I am making more food tonight, fresh pesto and shrimp and bread and tomorrow I have lamb. Good food with good wine.

Now I am vegging out on the couch and watching The Notebook. Yes, I am lazy. But I did run nearly 6 miles earlier today so I have not been lazy all day. Later I will make dinner and do all sorts of a million things. But right now, it's about me. And good food. And opening that bottle of wine, soon.

Anniversary Weekend

We are celebrating our second anniversary on Monday. Looking at our pictures, it feels like yesterday but it doesn't seem like yesterday. We had all of our friends and families there, and it's already interesting who is more or less in our lives after those two lives. Who will always be in our lives. Who is less so. Who has broken up and who is or will be married. Those who have children. That snapshot in the front of Dahlgren is just the perfect frozen moment in time, with those we have loved or befriended or just have been thrown in with for one reason or another.

You hear about these moments frozen in time and that moment is frozen. I don't need to relive it to know that it happened, and I don't need to recreate it. A marriage is so much more important than one day, and so are the friends and family we were blessed to share it with.

Ten For Friday

1. Ate an enormous lobster yesterday. Well, about 1/3 of a lobster. Not to mention oysters, raw clams, steamed clams, clam chowder, and lots of other stuff...full thinking about it. But I think that was my first trip ever to Connecticut.

2. Ikea tonight.

3. I am SO looking forward to Target tomorrow!

4. Not to mention Morton's!

5. Missy Reeves is back to Days. Will Matt Ashford be back, too? And will I care? Sigh...

6. It is supposed to be nice and cool (mid 80s!) this weekend. Sad that 83 seems chilly after this summer.

7. I had a big Harvest Cobb salad today. Yum. I needed something healthy. Now I want something sweet...cookie time? Or frappacino?

8. Still love the Delta Spirit album.

9. Vinny the driver was a hoot.

10. Two more hours. Two more hours.

Delta Spirit

Been loving Delta Spirit today...listening to them and some more Frightened Rabbit.

Been a dull week, though I have a roadtrip tomorrow to Connecticut. I'm not even totally sure where I'm going in Connecticut, somewhere near the water I think. Anyway, it is non stop moving after this, every week it seems like. And I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Today is my mommy's birthday. I miss her, and I wish I could be home. She is the kindest person I have ever met and being there always makes me feel better. Oh how I wish I could be home...

Empty

I am SO hungry today. I've been eating nonstop and that included a burger for lunch. I was seriously craving red meat. I need to get out and run it all off after work.

With running comes hunger, but sheesh. I need to better pace myself. I guess I ate light on Sunday, and drank heavy, and that catches up with me.

I will need to do pasta for dinner or something, to fill up...

Weekend Wine Tour

We spent yesterday with Nate and Meg on a Living Social Wine tour. Way TOO much wine, but it was fun. The first stop was Linganore in Maryland. We tried an insane amount of 15 or so wines that left me dehydrated in the steamy 90+ degree weather. Some of the whites were pretty mediocre and the fruit wines, while tasty and sweet, were basically on the level of a Boone's. We split a bottle of the Traminette, a semi-sweet Gewürztraminer. We also brought a bottle of Chambourcin, described as "a rich full-bodied red dinner wine. Overtones of raspberry and oak make this wine perfect for fine dining." It had a smokey, tobacco flavor.

Afterwards we visited Black Ankle, which I thought was as good as any California winery I've visited. We loved the Syrah and picked up a bottle of that. We also purchased and broke open a bottle of the Passeggiata 2008, described as "a light to medium bodied wine, with a translucent ruby color and hints of raspberries and butterscotch on the nose. This wine dances across the palate with notes of vanilla, red fruits and exotic spices." I also loved the Viognier. I do have to say I was tired of wine by the end of the day, though I am very glad we did the tour.

It was a busy crazy hectic weekend but always good to see friends.

DMB in DC

We went to see Dave Matthews last night at Nationals Park. 97 degrees. It was insanely hot and we sweated out most of the beer we drank.

Zac Brown opened up, and they were actually quite good and managed to get the crowd into the spirit of the show. Though we thought it was crazy that he wore a wool hat throughout his performance. Dang. Very patriotic music.

DMB was...okay. They played a lot of their newer stuff which was unrecognizable to us. The crowd got into it toward the end of our time at the concert, when they played Two Step.

This is review of their New York show, but it is pretty accurate. The solo music jaunts seemed indulgent at times, and they went on far, far too long. Steve was right on--drop some of that and play more of what the fans came for.

Here was the set list...we missed Ants Marching but oh well. And oh yeah, how can I forgot about the pot smokers behnd us. All concert long. So nice.

DMB Tonight

Dave Matthew's tonight, and what feels like non-stop social engagements tomorrow. Look for a full update on survival.

Oh yeah, it's 96 degrees. Insane.

Speedwork

One thing about running I'm not crazy about is speedwork. Now I know it's important, but ugh. I do credit it with helping me to meet my time goal for the half, and if I want to beat 1:30 for the Army Ten Miler, I absolutely need to do more of it. We hit the gym tonight, and I did 4.5 miles in 41 minutes, with that first four miles in under 35 minutes. 8:45. I did an 8 mph minute, but rotated between the usual cycle. I do feel good when it's done. It is SO hot out now, and runs last like last night's four miler are just tough. But I do need to do them. I completed my 10K by running home. It's 8:42 pm and it's still 90 degrees out! WTH. I am SO over summer. I was warmed up and easily able to run that last 1.5. But running in 80 or 70 or the wonderful bliss of 60 degree weather just does not compare.

But with all of the drinking ahead the next few days, I needed to burn off those calories!

Old Age

So this is random, but I saw a post that Selena Gomez is turning 18 tomorrow. Her mother is my age; actually, she's about a month or two younger than me. I could be the mother of an 18 year old.

I don't have children. Selena Gomez could conceivably have a child before me, making her 34 year old mother a grandmother. That is frighteningly.

I was always taken aback when I think of how girls from school have teenagers already. I cannot imagine having a teenager, and how much that would have changed my life. Your priorities are so different. I would not have wanted that path. I do give those women credit for being good moms, keeping their babies, and working to have a better life for their families.

God, can you imagine being 34 and having an 18 year old daughter? Just blows me away.

Today

I passed 300 friends on Facebook.

I bought the husband a smoothie. I may miss those little trips to Robeks; they probably think I drink a lot of smoothies. He is currently a fan of Passionfruit. I prefer the blueberry or raspberry flavors.

I am trying to multitask...Miami, ABAW, speaker lists, emails, etc.

I am freaking out about how busy the next few weekends are.

I am trying to figure out a birthday gift for mom.

I am already thinking about trying to survive a 3 mile run. But I am looking forward to making pesto. Fresh basil!

Miami

Trip two in 2010 to Miami: Done. Mission Accomplished. Over and out. Ate at Por Fin.

Reading: The Bridge of San Luis Rey. Beautiful.

And tired. Will catch up tomorrow.

Farm Fresh Food

So I was very proud of my lunch today...fresh mozzarella, fresh basil, and heirloom tomatoes from Eastern Market. I jogged there after the gym and picked up some of those ingredients. SO very good. I plan on making some pesto at some point tomorrow, if I have time!

We also finally checked our the Biergarten Haus last night. Pricey, pricey. It was sweltering, humidifying hot, and it was crowded. But it was certainly "the place to be." Glad we finally checked it out, with a real German :-) The outdoor area really is immense, and it was the closest thing I've felt to being in Oxford. I'm sure we will be back.

That Was Then

So I read a lot of blogs, but this particular entry really touched me.

You know, it's been twenty years since junior high, and I think at least once or twice a week I think about those days. Maybe it is seeing everyone on facebook, and seeing their relationships that are so tight after so long, or the fact they have changed or have not changed or whatever. It is amazing at how you lose judgment of some of those people who tortured you on the softball field, or ridiculed you for getting straight As, or excluded you from a pool party even after they "pretended" to be friends with you for a while, at least until the popular crowd came calling. I will never forget the feeling of shame and unhappiness every June when all of the "cool kids" got invited to Julie's pool party, and I was one of a handful left out. The facebook friends even remember that when it was her birthday! I still remember being taunted by parents playing softball, or people calling me ugly and reminding me of the reasons I'd "never have a boyfriend." It is so relentless, and so difficult.

And twenty years later, I have great friends and a great husband and a great job and money and luxuries I didn't have then. And yet a part of it remains. And I described it in my comment as bittersweet, because it is. Those feelings resonate with me so many years later. And I won't justify it as silly, because it wasn't. It was not funny. It was hurtful. And one of my core beliefs is that we are responsible for our own actions, and our own reactions, ultimately. And at 14, you know the meaning of right from wrong, good from bad, hurtful and kind. And you can be brave or be a coward, or you can be generous or be selfish.

I would NEVER go back to being 12 or 13 or 14 again. I know there were kids, like Maria A., who had it so much worse than me. And all of these years later, I worry and wonder how she is. I know there were kids who escaped a lot of it, and who were neither teased not teasers. And I know some who were vicious, and I wouldn't friend them without any kind of apology. Or without one.

I do worry, if I have children and especially a daughter, how I would feel if they received the same level or any level of harassment or teasing. It would break my heart. And it is so easy to tell her you grow up, you move on, you make friends, you meet boys, you become liked and loved and happy and social. But at 12, when being lonely and without friends is one of the worst things imaginable, you can't offer that kind of reassurance because 34 or 24 or 19 are SO far off.

Yes, it does get better. But patience is demanded. I will always regret, with a feeling of bittersweet, not having happier memories from those years. Thank God for my family, because that really is the most important thing. But to a 12 or 13 or 14 year old girl, you still need more, as selfish as it is.

The Time Traveler's Wife

Last week I finished up the Time Traveler's Wife. It was my second straight fiction book, and I really tore through it, thanks to being on vacation. It was romantic, tragic, science fiction, escapist, and just a fantastic read. Henry was the ultimate romantic hero, and his love affair with Clare just was the ultimate bittersweet tale. I almost don't want to see the movie, which received mixed reviews at best, because I don't want it to spoil the book.

It presented interesting philosophical and religious questions concern fate and free will. It echoed Lost, actually. And in the end, there was nothing Henry could do to undo his intended end. Someone in some commentary mentioned how he knew about 9/11 and did nothing to stop that tragedy. That presented both a flaw and a logical continuity in the tale...what happened, happens.

You almost wonder if a sequel with Alba will be written one day to take the tale to its next chapter. If fate can be reversed, or halted. A question that remains to be answered.