This Year

Been a long year. Fantasy season comes and goes. Two new nephews, born six months apart. Five year anniversary to Jamaica. Trips to Minnesota and California and NC and Colorado and Florida and Texas and Chicago and New York and Atlanta New Hampshire and Ohio and New Orleans and Richmond and New Mexico and Michigan and Charlottesville and Montana. 16 states flown to? Four weddings. And I'm probably forgetting a few places. The Tigers blowing it again. A mini high school reunion. Friends visiting in DC. 40th birthday gatherings. The National concert. Fake snow blizzards. Tantrums. German and Swedish parties. Lots of fire and lots of rain.

And it has been a year,  has it now. Another year, survived. Another year, another week, another day by day. Another hour. Less than two weeks remain.

North Korea News

So Kim Jong Un executed his uncle. Not a big surprise to anyone who follows/cares what's going on in the country that is holocausting its own citizens.

One big question is whether Kim acted out of strength, consolidating the power he has amassed over the past two years, or out of fear that his uncle was building a rival force inside the regime.

Kim already removed the country's top general last year, Cha noted. By taking down Jang, he's axed a powerful figure from the country's dominant Workers' Party.

"It makes you wonder: If he's consolidating his power, what is he building it around?" Cha said. "He's basically attacking the two most important institutions in North Korea, which is the party and the military."

He is a mad man, and you can never taken anything he utters at face value. He's young, entitled, and entrenched in a government that is Soviet-esque in its treatment of dissidents or mere mild threats to the ruling party. Any state that will deliberately starve its own citizens to to increase its own limited largesse cannot be trusted. And this move is meant not to just consolidate power but to inspire greater fear amongst anyone in either the party or the military who might think of a challenge.

The world is watching.

Best TV of the Year

I guess it is not too early for my favorite TV of the year...my thoughts:

House of Cards: Insanely addictive and binge-worthy, and I can hardly wait for the new season on February 14.

Mad Men: Because of that final Hersheys episode. Not the weak LSD inspired ones.

Nashville: Because of the music. And its soapiness.

General Hospital: Because of all of the comebacks, capped off by Robin returning to Patrick. Happy 50th, and many more!

Arrested Development: Because of its ambitious return, and it was a worthy comeback, even though it never be what it was because its development was truly arrested by Fox.

Big Bang Theory: Because of its heart, and Penny and Leonard, and Sheldon and Amy. Shamey. And Bernadette and Howard. And Raj. Loveable Raj.

How I Met Your Mother: This last season is sucking it up, but I am watching just to see the payoff in the end.

Downton Abbey: Even though I cannot forgive them for murdering Matthew. And I still cannot bring myself to watch that episode.

And for the shows I have yet to watch...Orange is the New Black and the Americans and Breaking Bad. Maybe I will get to all of these in 2014? And Scandal, too.

Escape from North Korea

I'm planning to go to a screening and discussion for this new documentary on North Korea after work. With all of the news lately, with Merrill Newman's detainment, new satellite images of North Korea's prison system, and Kim Jong Un's cutting off of his uncle, I think it will be a very timely discussion.

Everyone is Starting Something New

Loved this Onion piece:

“Our results indicate that those around you are all turning a new leaf, moving forward to face a fresh challenge, and embarking on periods of immense personal and professional growth, while you on the other hand are in a phase of total stagnation, if not regression,” said head researcher Dr. James Messemer, adding that the data also suggests that everyone sees the clear contrast between those who are really blossoming by moving on to meet a new opportunity and you, an individual perceived as being stuck in a rut, left behind, or simply someone who has already reached their potential. “Our study proves that, unlike yourself, all of your peers are enriching themselves by experiencing the triumphs and failures associated with any new personal journey, a journey that will ultimately be looked back upon as the most fulfilling part of these individuals’ lives. Meanwhile, you remain trapped in a state of perpetual—well, our researchers would have to call it ennui, as there is really no other word for it.”

I certainly feel that is true, sometimes. Like is this what my life will be like every day from now on? Work, go home, maybe go running or to yoga, maybe a reception where I grow older and everyone else is the same age? I guess it is some kind of "ennui."

I hope my chances of changing this are more than 7%, though....

Thanksgiving Memories 2013

1. J's obsession with his little cousin C. OMG when he kissed his photo on the iPhone...
2. J's cheating at Candy Land and subsequent tantrum. Like father, like son...
3. J's incessant photobombing.
4. Hearing the story of J's paper purses for his kindergarten classmates.
5. JR's cute, sweet smile. So cute...
6. Lunch with mom at Panera and looking at houseware items.
7. My mini-HS reunion. Feels like yesterday.
8. C's big boy outfits. And is he ever a big kid!
9. Kicking as$ at fantasy football with my record 230 point win. And victories by the Lions and Cowboys, a first.
10. Playing blocks and building a village with J.
11. That absolutely amazing Auburn-Alabama finish. 
12. All of boys playing in the basement playroom.
13. Talking with dad on the way from the airport.

So many great memories...

North Korea: Evil Hostage Takers

This story, about an 85 year old Korean War veteran taken hostage by North Korea, is the prime example of why this government is evil and the United States should never negotiate with that "country."

And it's mistaken identity, probably.

Merrill E. Newman was traveling with a group on a tour bus through North Korea, and was taken away after boarding an Oct. 26 flight out of the country, his family says.

"They had checked out of the hotel, gone to the airport, boarded the plane," his son Jeffrey Newman told ABC News. "We understand [they] were five minutes from taking off when the Korean official came aboard, asked to see his passport then asked the stewardess to ask him to leave the plane and he left the plane with apparently no incident or drama and he's been there ever since."

But the North Koreans may have thought they were detaining a highly decorated U.S. Korean War veteran who happens to have the same -- or almost the same -- name as him.

Merrill H. Newman, 84, was awarded the Silver Star for holding off a heavy Chinese attack during the war. Both men fought in the Korean War, have almost identical names and are around the same age.

"The thought did occur to me ... that maybe there's a case of mistaken identity," Merrill H. Newman, who lives in Beaverton, Ore., told Reuters.

Off to Denver

Snow awaits, and so does Peter's wedding, after years of waiting for it, right? I need to get out of town, almost as much as I need to get some sleep. Snow, not so much. I am looking for some quiet away time, to think and be with family and forget about work in an environment where it'll be work friends. Silly.

Pray that things go smoothly.

Overcome

So much to do....surviving our annual conference is a challenge, but I'm stuffed up and sleep deprived and right now heavily dependent on caffeine to make me feel normal. Is this how it always is? I don't know if last week's event will necessarily stand out, but I'm always grateful for the opportunity to visit with friends, see amazingly insightful speakers, and engage in random conversations ranging from Wrestlemania to concerts. So I'm off again, to a wedding for a colleague I've know for 13 plus years. If I survive the snowstorm, of course.

 I will be back in Michigan in a week. And for that, I am grateful. I won't care about anything else as long as I am with my family.

Boo to the Runners

A contrarian's view of runners. Boo. One reason: he thinks runners are social media savvy show-offs.

Why would someone want to get up at 5 a.m. and run 10 miles adorned with fluorescent tape to avoid being struck by someone who has the good sense to use a car for a 10-mile journey?

I have a theory. There is no more visible form of strenuous exercise than running. When runners are dashing down a street in the middle of town or through a subdivision, they know that every driver, every pedestrian, every leaf-raker and every person idly staring out a window can see them.

These days, people want more than ever to be seen. This is the age of taking a photo selfie and posting it on Facebook with the announcement that you're bored—in the hope that someone will "like" that information. People want attention and crave appreciation. If you're actually doing something like running—covering ground, staying healthy, almost even having fun—what better way to fulfill the look-at-me desire? The lone runner is a one-person parade. Yay.

Yeah, I think the "slow" runners who go at a 13 minute mile pace and then brag about their six hour marathons are kind of annoying. It's a catch-22, though. The likes of Michelle Obama are so focused on getting everyone active, that anything goes. And you need to "brag" to make yourself feel better. I've been running since before a FB account, and I started running in order to  lose the 15 or so pounds I needed to when I was 30. And I was seeking an individual sport, because you know how I feel about team sports. And yeah, I wanted to prove I was more athletic than how I was perceived at 14. So maybe there's something to it.

I don't agree that nothing is more strenuous than running. I would find hot yoga or swimming much more challenging. Once you can sustain a 10 minute mile pace, you are golden. But as for this running backlash? I kind of get it. But most "real" runners aren't like this. This piece is more of a symptom of Gen Y showboatism, more than anything. But ultimately, I won't begrudge anyone who is exercising and focused on health.

Superzips

I've been reading the Charles Murray book on Coming Apart, and I heard about the recent story in the Post about the superzip phenom he describes. It's an interesting thesis. And yes, I fall squarely in the category of middle class raised/upper middle ascending. We aren't in a superzip in 20002, but I'm sure with the streetcar, the Whole Foods coming, the spate of new theaters and condos, we'll be there soon enough. H Street has jumped the shark. It's gentrified now, and that demographic will follow.

And yeah, there's an uneasiness about all of this. Kids who are second or third generation with this privilege will never know a childhood like one in Detroit, or south Texas (the Post story on junk food in McAllen, example). I still feel like we're squarely middle class, despite the size of our mortgage. We aren't extravagant people, we don't splurge on $300 boots or $200 meals every weekend. But any weekend? Yeah, just because you can afford it, it doesn't mean anything.

Values don't come from the size of your paycheck, but the paycheck may determine how entitled you feel. And once you get away from never taking anything for granted, that is when values diverge. And the next generation gets away from you.

Detroit's New Mayor

Detroit elected--gasp!--a white mayor yesterday, Mike Duggan. And what does that mean, especially for race relations? This woman has it right:

Southwest Detroit resident Tiffany Johnson said her decision to vote for Duggan created tension in her household, where her husband is a Napoleon supporter.

Johnson said he told her she’s “voting against (my) color, basically, but I don’t think it should be a racial thing, and that’s what I told him.”

“We need to stop thinking of things as white or black. It’s not about that,” said Johnson, who drives vehicles for a company contracted with Chrysler.

Detroit will have many challenges, obviously. The biggest may be the recalcitrance of the City Council.   Good luck, Mayor-Elect Duggan. You will need it.

Angry yet Assertive

Anger scares me. I am not the most assertive person, and I do recognize that is a weakness. I want peace and harmony and avoidance of conflict. Until I get angry, and then sometimes I say things without the appropriate level of measure. But sometimes I need to say things, and I need to stand up for myself.

I still have horrible guilt over how I let myself be bullied as a child. I remember standing on the playground, often alone, in junior high. I would let the popular kids accost me, rattle me, burn me with statements meaning one thing but conveying another. I let them storm away from me, huffily pronouncing they were just trying to be friendly. But in reality, they were trying to get a rise out of me, and I was not going to dignify them with a response. What I really should have done is told them they cannot treat me that way. They are not allowed to make me feel inferior.

I eventually closed myself off. It was easier to withdraw within myself, disappear into a rapid imagination that often made fantasy and stories and on-screen entertainment the kind of reality that allowed me to get up in the morning. And that came crashing down at least twice: before senior year and half-way through my Freshman year in college. And maybe again at the beginning of Sophomore year.

Friendships cured much of that, and developing relationships where people loved and accepted and respected me. But I've always wanted to please others, and that is to my detriment. That lobster analogy of the slowly simmering pot is always something I am aware of. And if I had seen that arise to a boil immediately, as opposed to gradually and erratically, then I may have become assertive at another time.

What I am trying to say is I need to stand up and defend myself, and not think of myself as a 12 or 13 year old girl. But it is hard to change that conception of yourself, even a quarter of a century later. So what to do?

Autumn's Peak

Some beautiful pictures here of the Tidal Basin. Though I'm still a Spring person...

Charlottesville

The days are going by so fast now. We had a fun weekend in Charlottesville this past weekend. Yeah, the UVA-Clemson game was a blowout, and we did leave at half-time. But the Fall colors were gorgeous. We had a fantastic dinner at Brookville, sharing a steak and this zucchini short stack with maple syrup and goat cheese. Perfection, pretty much. We went to T's old favorite watering hole, and then had another drink after the game/before dinner. It was a fun day, with one highlight being the receipt at CVS :-)

We stayed overnight in historic Staunton at the Stonewall Jackson Hotel. A little disappointing and over-priced, though I think the noisy wedding party dimmed my view. We made it back in time for football, of course. And a beautiful drive through the Shenandoah Valley in peak Fall colors.

How is it November?!

Best of October

5/6 of the year is done, and most of the major releases of 2013 are out now. So best of October? I'm going with the Fanfarlo EP, the Head and the Heart, Amos Lee, the Fratellis, and Lissie. There was also Los Campesinos!, Pearl Jam, Arcade Fire, and Blitzen Trapper (which I think came out on September 30). Anyway, great music month, and it's only a few more weeks til best of 2013 lists start coming out. Already, I know.

November is a good time to catch up on albums I have yet to check out, and maybe discover some ones I neglected. And the Killers have a best of coming out, which should be good, too!

Packard Plant Bizarreness

So some wealthy woman in Texas purchased the Packard Plant at Auction. She still hasn't paid, and her statement is kind of bizarro and full of typos:

The document, full of typos and titled “The Posential Energy in Detroits Assets,” contains nonsensical passages about her group’s plans for the plant and other vacant properties in Detroit. It mentions Van Horn’s “prophecy” to “resurrect Detroit.”

■ “Dr. Van Horn has assembled the Investment Banks, Hedge Fund Lenders, Private Investors and several Foundations, who intend to merge their financial resources with the local developers in Detroit, to transform the dormant capital the lies in every real estate parcel in the city of Detroit, into a fixed value of capital that will benefit all of the cities residence.”
■ “Now is not the time for native Detroiters to bicker over the price of the Packard Plant. Now is the time to form a coalition made of past and future developers in order to make a change in Detroit.”
■ “Prior to placing the bid on the Packard plant, Dr. Van Horn’s prophecy was to resurrect Detroit by providing education, jobs, vocational training to the city’s residence, simultaneously unplugging the financial arteries of the city.”
■ “Furthermore, if the county doubts that we have the ability to perform, we challenge the county by stating at this time, Dr. Van Horn and her lenders are prepared to travel from Texas to Detroit and sit down with the county and make an offer for every vacant, abandoned and dilapidated apartment building within Detroit.”

Somehow I think she won't end up paying this...we will see.

Sebelius Hearings

These Sebelius hearings are a riot. Sebelius: "The website never crashed. It is functional at a very low speed."

Obamcare.gov right now: "The system is down at the moment."

Hmm, so technically a downed website has never crashed. It depends on the meaning of the word "never" I suppose. Or "crashed."

I guess Obamacare.gov can't be described as a trainwreck if it has never "crashed."

RIP Edna Krabappel

Sadly, Marcia Wallace, who voiced Edna Krabappel on the Simpsons for the past quarter of a century (!!!), passed away last weekend. DCIst lists some of the best episodes with Mrs. Krabappel. Personally? I do like that Halloween episode and the one with Gordie Howe.

10. "Treehouse of Horror V, Nightmare Cafeteria" 1994
The one in which the entire faculty begins feasting on children, starting with German exchange student Uter. One of Mrs. K's most memorable "Hah!" comes after Skinner admits the burger she's eating is made out of bully Jimbo Jones. She says, "it's so young and impudent." The homework assignment to the dwindling class: "Eat a stick of butter" as she gleefully croaks, "Detention" to the quaking students.

1. "Bart the Lover," 1992
Bart decides to play a prank on his teacher by sending her love letters as fictitious dreamboat "Woodrow." When he realizes how heartbroken she is after being stood up, he turns to his family to draft the ultimate farewell letter that will let her down gently.

The Buck Doesn't Stop at Obama

The officials quoted by The Wall Street Journal said it was understandable that Obama did not know about the phone tapping of Merkel and other leaders for nearly five years of his presidency because the NSA has so many eavesdropping programs, it would not have listed all of them for the president.

“Before it even launched, red flags went up about the Obamacare website. Health insurance companies complained about it, and the site crashed during a test run. But nobody told the President of any of it, the nation's health chief told CNN. Kathleen Sebelius said President Barack Obama didn't hear that there may be problems with the sign-up portal for his signature health care law until it went live on October 1. That's when the site nosedived into a technical abyss.”

President Obama insisted Thursday that he knew nothing about the internal investigation into the IRS' practice of singling out conservative groups for special scrutiny before it was made public, as he moved to name a new director for the embattled agency.

U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder said he and “the upper levels of the Justice Department” were not aware of the botched “Fast and Furious” gun program that targeted Mexican drug cartels but ended up supplying them with firearms.

New to New to New

I spent the last week on plains and trains and airports...New Mexico to New York to New Hampshire. It was a bit busy. Crazy even. And I need to catch up. But it's always amazing to go to new places, and do things like run along the Rio Grande and explore Old Town and see the charm of Autumn colors in Concord. I see why New England is so adorable.

But there's something to be said for making the quick trip to Dulles after an already delayed return flight to pick up your husband. And to go home and to Big Board and to do the regular things I like to do tomorrow, like go to the gym and grocery store. And next week it's Charlottesville and November!

Well, a few more hours to go, right?

Shutdown Stymied

Well, our long pseudo national nightmare of a government shutdown is nearly over, just as I predicted, around the elusive date of October 17. Furloughed workers will get their two week vacation paid, just as they desired. The barricades will at long last be removed by the memorials, and Vince Gray will go back to being despised as a corrupt mayor. But what have we gained?

The big joke going around now is that "Just heard the Washington Redskins are relenting & changing their name -- dropping "Washington" b/c it just got too embarrassing." So there's that. Both parties should be ashamed, really. Though some are attempting to absolve "real" Washington of our sins, because it's not our fault that our elected leaders do these things. Yeah, right. Maybe we have taxation without representation, but we work for these individuals. VA and MD voters helped put them into office. We've donated to their campaigns and we've supported their pork to help pad our bank accounts.

And we're going to suffer when the so-called fiscal cliff grows so steep that we can't throw more inflated dollar bills at it. We're all to blame, ultimately, because we created this. And with the possible exception of Paul Ryan, I'm not sure we have any adults who would share that responsibility with us.

Farragut

Occasionally, I try to remember places I loved to shop and eat at in the Farragut area. So many places have closed in the nearly 15 years I've worked down here.

Borders.
Filene's.
The Gap at 2000 Penn.
The Ann Taylor on K Street, which relocated to Connecticut
The pizza places where Vapiano's is and in the alley around 20th and M
The Bagel shop near Vapiano's.
Fuddruckers
Wendy's.
Vie de France
Dean and Deluca's
The CVS at Connecticut and I
The predecessor to Jack's Fresh
Lawson's at Dupont Circle
The old Mad Hatter's on M Street
Burger King at 16th and K
The old Food Court at Farragut North...pizza, McDonald's, etc.
Some of the vendors at the food court at Farragut West, like the presto pizza
Talbot's
Express on Connecticut
Wasabi sushi where 7/11 is on Farragut Square
That sandwich place on Connecticut & about N Street
Tower Records at 2000 Penn
Cosi at 19th & K

What am I missing?

Grandma

I would be remiss if not taking a moment to remember grandma on her 101st birthday. I hope she's up in heaven somewhere, rooting as hard for the Tigers as we all are. I cannot believe she has been gone now for almost twenty years. She was so brave and so strong, after years of being sick. And she was beautiful, and possessed a stronger faith that almost anyone I know.

It is remarkable, how 20 years go by. I am sure she is delighting in her great-grandsons, too. I see some of her in Joey. He has her features.

DC Idiocy

Reason #154,565 this shutdown is stupid: a guy can't even voluntarily mow the damn lawn.

And another? I'm siding with Vince Gray, who crashes a news conference to demand that his budget be restored. Who would have thought it? Threatens Reid: "“I’m on your side, don’t screw it up, okay? Don’t screw it up,” Reid told Gray."

Shut Down

The entire government shutdown saga is already wearing on all of us. Republicans need to compromise on some things, because Obamacare can't be shut off by them. It can only self-destruct by its own hand. The headlines right now should be the fact that reporters and Americans desperate to enroll can't get through the ineptly crafted healthcare.gov webpages. They should not be this shutdown and the imminent debt default.

But Obama and his agents prohibiting senior citizens from using restrooms at national parks or veterans from their pilgrimages to the World War II memorial make him equally guilty, if not more guilty. They are taking pride in authoritarian tactics to make this shutdown as painful as possible. Is there ANY reason to rope off tax-payer owned and supported monuments or bikepaths? And Obama's rhetoric is ridiculous: “Ransom”. “Extortion”. “Deadbeat”. “Hostage-taking”. “Blow the whole thing up”. “Insane”. 

It's just this much short of  "We don't negotiate with terrorists." Really?

Adults are needed in these conversations. I almost hope for an open rebellion of (gasp!) moderates to take the steps needed to (gasp!) compromise. Otherwise this inflexible stalemate will go on forever. And Obama (and his friendly press) will go on, setting messages that the Republicans are merely strangers with candy, ready to rip away the fabric of Americans. Ridiculous.

Germany Unity Day

I was wondering what their fascination was with Country Roads at Thursday's German Unity Day Party:

All the good things you would expect were available in plenty at the annual “Day of German Unity” party hosted by the embassy in Washington: Heaps of sauerbrauten, vats of good beer, oom-pah music, and for the first time this year, D.C. singer-songwriter Bill Danoff.

For decades, Danoff’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads” — a 1971 hit for John Denver — has been a sing-along favorite at Munich’s Oktoberfest, a nostalgic touchstone bound to bring Germans to their feet whenever it’s played.

Why? “I have no idea,” Danoff, 67, told us. “I’ve never been to Germany” — though he’d never been to West Virginia either before he wrote his ode to the Mountain State.

Ask German natives why they get misty-eyed over a song about the Shenandoah and Blue Ridge, what cultural resonance they find in it, and you’ll get a quizzical stare: It’s a really good song, don’t you think?..

Danoff and his band had barely finished before an exuberant emcee rushed to rejoin him on stage.

“Mr. Danoff!” he pleaded. “Could you take us one more time to West Virginia?”

Danoff took a second to process this. They wanted him to do the song, again? He did. The crowd went wild, again. And as we drove away, we heard a familiar tune wafting up from the embassy grounds: Yes, they’d coaxed yet another “Country Roads” out of him that night.

The Fall

75% of this year is over, and yet I don't feel like I've accomplished much of anything. Sad, right? The night is creeping into the day, and the daylight is shrinking. It's still 75-80ish, so there's an air of summer out there. Not sweater weather or even pumpkin latte weather yet, really. Though in a month, the holidays will be screaming in our face, and we'll all demand Thanksgiving food and Christmas decorations immediately.

Do I do resolutions? No, not so much. There's this refrain about "begin again" that plays whenever I realize that if I did do resolutions, they would not work out so well. The song would pause, restart, and never end.

I feel like I've played out the same old tune this year. Nothing new, no family news or professional news or home news. But that's good, right? Not to lose anyone, or not to struggle with family sickness or friends facing tragedy.

I feel a little at loose ends, a little discombobulated lately. A little struggling to make sense of something I don't know/can't know how to change. So I don't think October is the greatest of months. I always prefer Spring, to reawaken, and to grow. 

Respect?

Being in DC, there's always a great sense of entitlement surrounding everything you do. You always expect and demand more, and you feel disappointed when what's "due" to you isn't awarded to you. You start out low on the totem pole, and you gradually inch your way up. But you become competitive, or maybe defensive, or maybe just entitled to the perch you've clawed you way to. And when someone leapfrogs you, or starts from a position higher than you, or just pushes you aside, you become resentful. You become angry. You become bitter. And then you become resigned. Because that's how things work in this city, your office, your relationships. You've "earned" something, yet only until the next best thing comes along.

You can read between the lines, and some of this is just venting. You always claim in this town to be ego-less, and a big part of me does not care at all. But a part always feels like you have earned something, something resembling respect. And yet...

No matter what your status in life, I think, you feel this way. There's always another step in the ladder to climb, and that ladder seems unending, no matter how high you climb. And another ladder always goes up next to you, and there it is. And sometimes your efforts bear fruit and sometimes you slip a few notches down. And you aren't sure if your footing is as sound the next time.

So it all comes back to respect, after a long journey's climb. And that to me is crucial. Because without respect, there is no trust nor confidence. So it gnaws you down. You need to come to terms with it or not. Respect.

H Street Festival

I have no idea if there really was 100,000 in attendance at the H Street Festival this year, but I've got to say, it was crowded even on a less than sunny day. Who knows how many more would have turned out if the weather had been 80 degrees and sunny. But the ten blocks were full, vendors were plentiful, good food, great restaurants, great music. Justin Trawick was a great folksy find. It's really a fantastic neighborhood. I was glad I could buy some local neighborhood art courtesy of Cherry Blossom Creative. It was about time H Street made the neighborhood maps, alongside the Noma print I also purchased.

I am already looking forward to next year's neighborhood fest.

Sweet Valley High Syndrome

I came across this piece through a link from a link. It's about how the idealized, model-ific Wakefield twins ruined her conception of high school-hood. I'm the same age as the author, though of course, no older sister for me. I also had a weakness for the serialized book series, i.e. the Little House books. So yeah, more to relate to.

My high school, obviously, was nothing like Sweet Valley High. And I was not a beautiful size six, blond hair, blue eyed goddess who might have been a model. I didn't have boys chasing after me, and I didn't have a niche of friends in high school. Though with my impending 20th reunion coming up, and after having seen Julie this summer, high school and what could have been, should have been is a conception that stays with me. And everything it might have been that was not, and thankfully, was not.

Someday

Maybe someday I will return to this piece, as I struggle to juggle/balance family and profession. If I am only so lucky...

It’s the tacit denial of the tragedy of the human condition that I’ve come to resent in the contemporary literature about “balancing” career and family. This literature is full of demands for Justice and Equality, its authors motivated by ideas of social perfection: to finally place a sufficient number of women in the ranks of management and government and to effect true gender equality in the workplace as a whole. Engaged on a quest to change the world, they write with a fervor generated by a political ideal and employ the language of political advocacy, as if the divided desires of our souls can be unified by Reform and Revolution. There is a solution for everything, they imply; we just haven’t found it yet.

But this simply isn’t so. I know from personal experience that this conflict in the soul does not go away, no matter how pleasant and accommodating our colleagues may be, or how flexible our schedules. We are limited, embodied creatures. These limits mean that we cannot do everything to its fullest extent at once, and certain things we may not be able to do at all. The tragic aspect of this is that both excellence and nurture are real, vital goods and that the full pursuit of one often, and perhaps inevitably, forecloses fully pursuing the other.

H Street Festival

Oh, how I wish my hometown could have street festivals like this one. I can't wait for the H Street Festival. Hopefully, the weather is good.

Navy Yard Shooting

The headlines are dominated by today's shooting at the Navy Yard, with at least a dozen victims. It doesn't matter if this is terrorism or a random workplace shooting or a cold, calculated rampage. It's horrible, and it hits too close (two miles away) from home. God watch and bless the victims and their families and friends.

Twelve Years

One wonders how 9/11 would have been experienced had smart phones proliferated twelve years ago. That is one indication of how this world has changed; we all have camera phones, we all have smartphones, we all have cell phones. More videos of that moment the planes hits and the buildings collapsed and thousands died. More video of the smoke plumes out of the Pentagon, the city streets filling with commuters spiraling in every direction, trapped in the city as public transportation shut down.  One wonders if cellular networks would have just shut down, and we would have been relegated to hovering in front of televisions, just like we were anyway, twelve years ago today.

I will never forget that morning.Though today seems like an ordinary morning, with talk of football and sweltering temperatures. It's not perfect and sunny and beautiful, a late summer day, like that day, twelve years ago. We face new challenges and risks in this country, and we face terrors and unknowns that we will confront, forced or not.

If you do forget, though, you can see for yourself.

God bless America, and God save the souls of those who perished that day. And may God comfort all of those who still mourn the loss of a loved one, family and friend, colleague and neighbor. We all were touched by loss that day, but some have an enduring void in their life.  Time may help heal all wounds, but the scars remain.

Syria September 10

Peggy Noonan, as she so often does, makes sense of the lack of strategery that President Obama is exhibiting with respect to Syria. About President Obama's address tonight:

All this, if it is roughly correct, is going to make the president’s speech tonight quite remarkable. It will be a White House address in which a president argues for an endeavor he is abandoning. It will be a president appealing for public support for an action he intends not to take.

We’ve never had a presidential speech like that!
...

Then get ready for the spin job of all spin jobs. It’s already begun: the White House is beginning to repeat that a diplomatic solution only came because the president threatened force. That is going to be followed by something that will grate on Republicans, conservatives, and foreign-policy journalists and professionals. But many Democrats will find it sweet, and some in the political press will go for it, if for no other reason than it’s a new story line.

Twelve years after 9/11, one year after Benghazi, and five years into a presidency, we may have the most inept foreign policy, well, since Jimmy Carter. They know nothing. They have learned nothing.

Back to School

With college kids all over DC, and my little nephew becoming a big kindergartener, my mind has wandered to thinking about school. It's now been two full decades since my last "first day" as a high school student. Twenty years sometimes seems like a year and sometimes it seems like decades. It's weird. It is now half of a lifetime ago, and I can't get over that I'm 37 and J and others are just starting their journeys. It is sad, a bit. I imagine what it would be like to have a little boy starting kindergarten, shopping for the backpack and feeling so bittersweet as he got on a school bus and headed off onto a new adventure. I would wonder how his day without me would go, and I would hope that he would make friends and he would like his teacher. And I hope he'd be smart, and he could read and write better than the other kids. And he would come home all excited to see me to tell me about his day, and how I'd be breathlessly awaiting his little stories about his day. It is so bitter, so sweet to anticipate. And so sad, because I don't know if that will happen. At M&N's party on Sunday, I felt so distant not having a baby to talk about, to hold and watch and to share my own stories. It makes me so lonely at times.

Maybe someday that will be me, and I will appreciate it so very much. But for now, all I can do is look forward to hearing the stories and wistfully hope that it will be me someday.

75%

I'm officially 75% of my way through my 30s. I'm officially in my late 30s, no wiggle room.

One nephew turned 4, another started kindergarten. And it's meterological Fall (despite the 80 degree temps), which means that the Fall equinox is coming up soon. And next week marks 12 years since that day in September, which really cannot be that long ago.

This year already feels over, like a loss, treading water, a stalemate. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I was hoping for more and it hasn't appeared. And it's the same tired old, same old same old.

Well, I will continue to hold out hope for the next 25%. Which isn't really just quarter time. Hopefully the start of something bigger.

Summer's End

It's almost Labor Day weekend, and I swear I don't know where this summer went. Between that week with the National Concert, Napa, and then Florida and international travel and now, I really don't remember where the last three months have gone. We have a beautiful new nephew, went down to South Padre and visited Jamaica, again. I went to Montana. We had a 4th of July in Onancock. Beth visited. Steve brought home lots of Port. A friend, Elizabeth, is moving away. I watched House of Cards and read several books. We celebrated our neighbors' 30th birthdays. And we saw fireworks, twice.

Summer kind of began with the block party and ends with the triathalon/start of the football season, I think. Or maybe the H Street Festival, at least officially. And now it will be Fall. Cooler weather, pumpkin, football Sundays, fantasy football drafts, and other things to look forward to.

But it means longer nights. And other less fun things, too.

Beautiful Michigan

I thought this was a neat list of some of the most beautiful wonders of Michigan. I've been to all of them. How gorgeous is this? I miss my home state...

Let 'Em Rot Says Obama

As Obama continues to try to pass himself off as the 21st Century reincarnation of Martin Luther King Jr., he and his Administration disavow doing anything to stand up for Detoit: 

Team Obama is not a deeply sentimental group, nor is it inclined to make big, dramatic gestures without a clear political upside. That’s why the West Wing has thus far brushed off suggestions Obama make a symbolic trip to the predominantly black, bankrupt city of Detroit — because “there’s not a goddam we can do right now to help them,” according to one Obama hand.

Who can blame them? That city will vote Democratic no matter what. 

Readings Lately

After a few weeks full of plane travel, I was able to finish a couple of great books, very different ones. I finished off Sisterland, which was a ridiculous beach read with the "twist" ending about the earthquake happening (or not...). I've read a couple of other Curtis Sittenfeld books, so I knew her tone and that she was a good storyteller. I think I'm doing good with my New Year's resolution on reading more fiction.

I absolutely devoured Why Nations Fail. The authors may dumb down their theory on inclusive/extractive states, but the logic of institutions mattering more than democracy or culture or geography is a compelling thesis. It reminded me that I needed to go back to my book on the Fate of Africa, particularly after the authors detail failures in Egypt, Sierra Leone, South Africa, the Congo, and other states in Africa. And I want to learn more about the successes in Botswana. I would certainly recommend this very readable account, and I want to see out some of the more academic writings of the authors, as well.

Montana via Texas

It was a whirlwind week, to go to Texas then Montana. To see family and then to work. To head to South Padre then the mountains. To go from extreme heat to warmth and low humidity. To go from non-stop eating of shrimp and fried zucchini to rushing around a crowd of 320+ to eat hotel food. To see places like the stunning Hyalite Reservoir in the Gallatin National Forest. I wish we could have gone to Yellowstone, but perhaps there will be another opportunity. You really felt like you were in another world out there, so far from the East Coast's concrete jungle. We also saw what there was of a downtown Bozeman scene with a visit to Montana Ale Works and an absolutely mouth-watering bison burger. Yum.

That's all the travel for now, after a month starting in Detroit to Jamaica. I'm looking forward to some at-home time.

Coleman

Great piece by Steve Malanga in the WSJ that I missed.

The truth is that Detroit was a failed city long before it became insolvent, thanks to a virtual collapse of its municipal government during Young's 1974-1994 reign as mayor. A radical trade unionist who ran as an antiestablishment candidate reaching out to disenfranchised black voters, Young lacked a plan except to go to war with the city's major institutions and demand that the federal government save it with subsidies. Critics called it "tin-cup urbanism."..

Young benefited politically from his very ineffectiveness. As the economists Edward Glaeser and Andrei Shleifer write in their study of urban ethnic politics, "The Curley Effect" (named after Boston's early 20th-century mayor James Michael Curley), as whites fled Detroit, Young's margin of electoral victory grew because his electoral base of poor blacks became a larger share of the city's population.

Flashbacks

So in a 24 hour time period, two reminders of high school reared their heads. Good and bad. I'm having lunch on Wednesday with someone I literally have not seen for 20 years. And yesterday, someone else I have not seen for 20 years passed away in a tragic, freak accident. She leaves behind three siblings, a husband, and two very young children.

Ironic, huh?

I can't stop thinking about this, and the pictures online are so haunting to me. She was always beautiful, even more so now. I was always intimidated by those beautiful popular girls with gorgeous smiles that seem to attract all sorts of attention. And I never friended her online because I doubted she would remember me. But that is already a regret.

Life just happens sometimes. And who we are and where we come from...it is always a part of us. We never know what tomorrow will bring, and we will never know how many lives we touched and how many souls will remember. Our pasts can be so haunting, and so mysterious, and so unforgettable. And it's miraculous how two distinct individuals whom I have not seen in two decades both touch me in a weekend.

I have many regrets and unhappy teenage memories. But I think that small bond is always there with that group of girls from my first high school. God bless them, all.

Jamaica

From my review:

Whitehouse was our fourth stay at Sandals. Overall, we enjoyed our stay, though as returning guests we noticed a few minor issues. What we liked: We enjoyed the great service, and would single out Keon at the Casa Blanca Bar (and his colleagues, including Fletcher) and Kevin at the Dutch bar as favorite bartenders. We had a great view on the fourth floor in the Dutch complex. The views of the water were amazing. We really enjoyed having the flexibility to dine anywhere without reservations. It made ours days less-structured, and we could enjoy a drink before dinner without rushing to an earlier than desired reservation. The food was good, though the restaurants weren’t quite A-plus quality. Favorite foods included grilled tuna and calamari at Neptunes, the ice cream at Café Paris, chicken and pork from the jerk pit, fresh fruit like mango every morning, and the filet at Eleanor’s. We found Giuseppe’s fairly ordinary; the lobster ravioli was bland and over-cooked. The beach was fabulous, and perfect if you enjoy kayaking or swimming or a run along the mile-plus stretch of water. We had a good snorkeling trip, where you could see quite a few fish along a reef not too far from the beach.

We were celebrating our anniversary at Sandals (where we also honeymooned), and we were taken aback that it wasn’t acknowledged despite our mentioning it when we made reservations and when we checked in. The following day (after I mentioned it to the concierge), we received a card and a piece of cake in our room late in the evening. It was a bit of a letdown, particularly since we saw other guests’ anniversaries acknowledged on the actual day of their anniversary. We also were a bit disappointed in the Piano Bar; performances started at different times each night, and it would have been helpful to have books to sing along. No one seemed to know the lyrics, including the pianist.  However, we still enjoyed ourselves.

Overall, I’d recommend this resort if you really enjoying swimming and other water activities; it’s by far the best reach we’ve been to. The lack of a reservation system also offers great flexibility. The grounds are meticulously maintained. The ride is long and bumpy (1:45 going there; 90 minutes coming back); be prepared by either booking sedan service and/or taking some Dramamine.  

From my two cents...great vacation. Too short, but after six days (two traveling ones), it was time to come back. I feel a little refreshed and ready to tackle things here. And first class coming home wasn't so bad, either.