Respect?

Being in DC, there's always a great sense of entitlement surrounding everything you do. You always expect and demand more, and you feel disappointed when what's "due" to you isn't awarded to you. You start out low on the totem pole, and you gradually inch your way up. But you become competitive, or maybe defensive, or maybe just entitled to the perch you've clawed you way to. And when someone leapfrogs you, or starts from a position higher than you, or just pushes you aside, you become resentful. You become angry. You become bitter. And then you become resigned. Because that's how things work in this city, your office, your relationships. You've "earned" something, yet only until the next best thing comes along.

You can read between the lines, and some of this is just venting. You always claim in this town to be ego-less, and a big part of me does not care at all. But a part always feels like you have earned something, something resembling respect. And yet...

No matter what your status in life, I think, you feel this way. There's always another step in the ladder to climb, and that ladder seems unending, no matter how high you climb. And another ladder always goes up next to you, and there it is. And sometimes your efforts bear fruit and sometimes you slip a few notches down. And you aren't sure if your footing is as sound the next time.

So it all comes back to respect, after a long journey's climb. And that to me is crucial. Because without respect, there is no trust nor confidence. So it gnaws you down. You need to come to terms with it or not. Respect.