Time To Myself

Steve's at his fantasy draft, and I'm decked out on the nice new sofa watching SVU. I've been craving some time to myself these last couple of days, and I need more. Maybe I should take Friday off, or a Friday off soon. I'm exhausted. I'm mentally exhausted. I don't know if it was being extroverted at work travel events or social engagements or what. All I know is that I just want to be alone.

There's lots about summer I like--daylight, being outside after that long winter--but I'm ready to nest in the Fall and Winter. Just be home alone and focus on myself and my husband and my home.

Labor Day is late this year, and I feel like I've been laboring long enough. I need to find some balance. I just finished Eat, Pray, Love and I definitely empathized with Liz Gilbert's year away--her sabbatical, if you will. She was my age--34--as she began her journey, and I think that point in your life, if you've been working 18 years like I have been--you need some respite. It doesn't matter if there was a divorce or something traumatic or just a moment of instability, internal or external.

I am trying to be nice to myself in little moments--getting lunch, coffee, Rita's on a Sunday afternoon, etc. But I think I need to make a major attempt to be kind to myself, more than just a nice gesture. I need to make a grand gesture to get out of this funk. I feel like I've gained a few pounds, am exhausted of the bickering at work, and tired at the ordeals of the house.

I will find a way to deal, I always do. But right now, I feel like it's more than a funk.