Old Friends

M sent another email indicating that she's in bad shape, and she doesn't know how much longer she can live like that. I don't know what to say or how to say it. I mean, there's a breath I hold every time I've received a middle-of-the-night email from her. It sounds like her pain is acute and her suffering endless. But I also think, she's six months older than me! She should be living her life and fighting.

I think she's been deprived of a good ten plus years of life. Just awful. I think she had some pain issues a decade ago, and maybe this is all resulting from some dental work she had done in the past. It's weird and fluky and it could happen to anyone.

So I pray that she won't do anything to further help herself. And I pray for S, because he must be suffering terribly, too.

Chicago

We had lovely weather in Chicago this weekend, enough warmth for two runs along Lake Michigan in shorts. There were also good meals--including at the Slurping Turtle and Henri. Not to mention time with good friends--E, D, etc. I'm sorry Michelle could not make it. We're a little at a loss of what we can do or how we can help. It sounds like her surgery will be next month, though, which I guess is a step in the right direction. How scary and helpless, though. And it makes you realize how you take good health for granted.

It also makes me sad that I'm so far apart from these ladies. There is nothing like old friends. Nothing.

Reunion

Tonight is my roommate reunion.

It's been a decade or so. Which is an astonishing length of time for me, since I lived with these women for four years and in that house for seven. And it's been eight since I left, five since I've been married. I've lived with the husband for much longer.

I can close my eyes and sort of remember being 22. It really is remarkable at how quickly you forget those days. DC is a challenging city for anyone. You are young, far from "home," you have to create friendships and live on $22,000 a year. You start from scratch when other friends from college are far away and immersed in serious relationships. You can't go home to your mom and dad on weekends. You move in with strangers, living intimately with them day to day, they see you at your best and at your worst. And you create these group house friendships that last for a little or maybe even a long while.

I have mixed emotions. Awkwardness. Discomfort, maybe. I don't know. I feel like I need a drink to take the edge off, and that reflects how I have changed since 22. It's been nearly 15 years to the day since I started my first job, and wow, oh how the years go by.

Maybe you are more authentically yourself at 22 than 37. Now there's a temptation to be at your best, dress your best, impress someones who don't need or care about that. But at 22, maybe this is all the more acute. You can hide in yourself more. You are more transparent at 37. You can't reveal everything, but your job/marriage/parenthood status is glaringly obvious. At 37, it isn't acceptable to be stuck in that rut. And we are coming from very different stages and phases, loves and lucks and tragedies.

So you enter into reunions with an open-mind, grateful for who you are and where you came from. And you know that this is all at face value, and then you turn away once again. Maybe meet up at 52? If we can be so lucky.

Richmond

Last weekend, we learned to love Nascar.

OK, maybe love is too strong of a word. But we learned to like Nascar after a trip to Richmond. We learned the terminology of garages, the pit, all of the prep work and logistics that goes into a race, all of the advertising, the pre-race drivers' meeting, the checks, the star guests like Demarcus Ware, the Danica Patrick worship, the noise, the all-day tailgating, the exciting as these cars swiftly fly around a 3/4 mile track at speeds I can't ever drive. And we learned about people like Kevin Harvick, who won the Toyota Owners 400. We learned about the fandom of Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Joey Logano, Kurt and Kyle Busch, Tony Stewart, and our adopted favorite Karl Edwards (he was robbed!).

It was a fun weekend with friends in our Dodge Caravan, the cavernous white minivan. We've been so busy lately, working and traveling (like I'm about to embark upon again..) that you forget what it means to have a day with friends. We also had a mediocre breakfast at the Strawberry Street Cafe, but that gave us a chance to explore Richmond a bit, as well as see the monuments on Monument Avenue.

Now on to the next stop...

Wedding Weekend

Atlanta was fabulous. It was a fun weekend away, with friends, at a gorgeous hotel. I had the best fried chicken ever at South City Kitchen, which was quite the indulgence. Maggiano's was a fabulous choice for a rehearsal dinner, complete with speeches from high school friends, college friends, siblings, work friends, and other family members. And the wedding--the beautiful church and the reception--were both perfect venues. I certainly could have done without such heavy dinner food, like pulled pork and brisket and creamy spinach.

The weather was gorgeous on Saturday, too. 60 degrees and sunshine. Perfect. I had two good runs through Piedmont Park. I really could get used to southern winters, since everyone assured us it was unusually gloomy for the rest of the wedding weekend.

We also had dinner with friends and lunch with family. A good weekend. A beautiful wedding.

Chicago

What made the work event in Chicago worthwhile was seeing my friends. It was nice to be with friends, hanging out and eating and getting frozen yogurt. Seeing hipster Wicker Park and visiting the Bongo Room (oh what a delicious brunch!) and dinner at Bar Toma. It was nice being with "my" friends for a change, too. And to feel like I was being an ear to listen. 

Life is so hectic sometimes. OK, most of the time.  And it's trendy to say just how busy you are all of the time. But having a Saturday where there was no real agenda was nice. Seeing a friend you had not see for at least five years, wow. And being there for the good times and the bad. Love Chicago. Love it.

Traveling Times

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind. We were in NYC a week ago, with dinner at La Grenouille.  And Chicago this weekend, at Sepia. Two different meals, both good, though I'd give the edge to La Grenouille, despite the fact that the chicken was ok. That chocolate cake and salmon tarte were both very tasty.  Sepia's highlight was probably the gnocchi, if only because most people could not figure out the skate and the salad was rather ordinary.  In between the dinners, of course, we served our gourmet bratwursts to watch the NFL Draft. 

Though the best meals might have been at Heaven on Seven (shrimp and crab) and Cafe Grand Lux for brunch (an omelet).  Really, because those were purely dinners with friends.  Quite simply memorable.  And shopping with Michelle.  Days like that are too few in between. 

20-Something Saturday

We had one of those random Saturdays, full of a little bit of moving, lots of margaritas, loud music, talking to old and new friends, and general laziness.  All followed by pizza. Steve said it reminded him of lots of Saturdays when he was in his 20s, when goofing off with friends, heavy alcohol consumption, and general feelings of uselessness were the marks of many a weekend. 

It's this strange bubble I feel myself in sometimes, when my late 30 something/early 40 something childless-friends make me feel a little less unsettled, and I am actually glad I can just do nothing for an afternoon. It's okay to do nothing when you are so constantly driven to accomplish something. It makes you feel a little less grown up, at least for a bit. And then Sunday comes and productivity and cleaning house and ironing clothes and getting ready for another work week is all that awaits.

But moments with friends, relaxing, joking around and blaring loud music...it made for a memorable Saturday, and a rare one which is also a memorable one, too.

Top Ten from the Weekend

1. Breakfast cookies.
2. Terrible service at Tru Orleans, though great food all around, particularly at the Atlas Room and the Argonaut. H Street classics. OMG that beef two ways was amongst the best of what I've eaten this year.  And the lamb ragout and desserts...
3. Making like six pots of coffee. And brunch at home!
4.  A fun game of Loaded Questions. Ridiculous.
5. Long walks and aching backs because we are getting old.
6. Spies and museums.
7.  Lots of lesbian talk.
8.  Our very high, hopefully, yelp rating.
9. Hanging out around the island and just talking.
10.  A weekend with good friends in DC. Gosh I already miss those guys.

Dinner with Friends

We had dinner with S&S last night for some shrimp monica, alcohol, and peanut buttery brownies. It was a fun evening with lots of laughter, including tears from laughter, old stories of Georgetown days, venting about lapsed friendships, and the usual stuff. It was nice to go out on a Wednesday night, when we weren't caring about work for awhile, and someone else could cook for us.  We bought a bought of Elu and shared that. Wine plus friends plus richly delectable pasta usually equals a good time, right?

It was a beautiful day and it's almost five o'clock...can we go home yet?

Visitor

I was lucky enough to see Donna again briefly, last night. She was in town for a conference. It's been so nice seeing her this past month, and I'm sad to think it could be awhile before we get together again. Now I look forward to seeing mom & dad.

There are times that marriage can be lonely...well, that is not the best word to use at time.  I think not having a super close friend here in town can be lonely, though I'm fortunate to have people like Liz and Jenny here. I think it's more of a matter of not having anyone who has known me for more than a decade or so here, because sometimes having a longer history is a good thing.  Something to cherish.  And yeah, it is hard to make friends.

And not that I don't consider my husband my best friend, not at all. But it is what it is, because sometimes female friendships are something you just need in a different way.  And easing into those relationships with people you have not seen in a year or two, it is so easy. So darn easy.

Old Friends in the City

I saw Angela today for lunch, along with her adorable little boy. And another on the way! SO good to see her; I haven't seen her since Cincinnati and she was about six months along with the last one. Wow. I can't believe it's been 16 years now since starting at SMC and 15 since we've known each other. We've been bad about keeping in touch. But it's nice to know you can go a year and be able to pick up right where you left off. Like no time at all has passed, and you saw each other yesterday, except now you're in your mid-30s and she's a mom and you're married and life is different. Not bad different but we're grown up. Grown ups. Not 21 and road-tripping it and living in dorm rooms but have mortgages to pay and full-time jobs and husbands to take care. And a child to take care of, with white blond hair and big blue eyes.

Where do the years go???

Alero

Had a nice girls night out with Christina and Theresa. Aw, what a sweetie. And she's going to be a big sister :-) Makes me want to have one. Someday, if I am lucky....We went to Alero and I ate way too much fajitas, but I did go running this morning.

Oh it was good to have girl time last night and tonight. I need more of that, and I am looking forward to seeing friends this weekend. You need girlfriend time and friend time and getting out. When we are trapped here, that is when it sucks.

What a Week..

So I am way behind in posting. Jenny's wedding was a lot of fun, great music, and she looked beautiful. I ate more mashed potatoes than I ever thought possible, oh those were so good. The weather could have been better, could have been worse. It was a lot of fun.

Houston was fun. The guys were crazy and good party-ers, and I had some pretty awesome margaritas and fajitas after the investiture. Good times, and it reminded me why I do not always dislike my job.

And today marks the grand finale of GL. I watched this weeks episodes online, and it's very sad. I watched that show pretty consistently for a decade-plus, from 1983ish to 1994ish. I only stopped watching after the debacle of a break-up between Roger and Holly. But I'd turn in over the years, see the Marian Crane saga or bits and pieces of Phillip and Beth or Matt & Vanessa. This is a sad day. It was neat seeing the faces from the past that popped up this week, Bridget and Bridget and Nola and Mindy and nuMichelle and Fletcher and Holly and Ed and all those other characters that made the show so awesome to watch in its prime 17, 18 years ago, at least its prime for my generation. Some touching tributes showed up online. It's amazing that so many posters have kept up with the show for decades. Life and growing older and just general disappointment have prevented me from becoming one of them.

From my perspective, these last shows have been pretty well done. The little tips toward history...Phillip's writing and Beth's art (I remember that!), Fletcher & Alex's friendship, the mature connection between Ed & Holly, Bridget at the boarding house, all of that....reminds me of watching so many years ago.

TV Guide Canada ranked some of the actors/actresses/couples. I mostly agree. I'd have Harley & Mallet in my top love stories, with Roger & Holly #1. And I'd have David's trial to Harley & Mallet's wedding in my top storyline list. And the R&H cliff house scenes. Rachel Miner deserves to be among the best actresses.

More HERE.

Bye GL, and thank you.

Girls Night In

I had a nice time on Saturday night with Liz, Ann, and Mary and meeting baby N. Girls night out-in. Ahh, how life does change. It was SATC gossipy and snarky, and I enjoyed drinking wine and a cocktail and just kicking back. Though a little bittersweet because I remember all of the other incarnations of girls night, with Cindy and Alex and Katherine, etc. over the years. All have moved on. On Friday I lunched with Sally for RW at Tuscana West. Yummy, not the best meal ever, but the risotto was tasty. The salad could have used a bit more goat cheese, though! I am lucky to have several circles of friends around, from the Jennys to the Georgetown crew to work friends. Separate circles, but still.

Husband is still sick. Poor guy. And he has a birthday coming up!!

Tough times, but also good times

Scary article about the unemployed.

T&S's wedding was fabulous on Saturday. The weekend started with a great rehearsal dinner at Lebanese taverna, followed by the fabulous wedding at Christ Church and the Arts Club--steak and crab cakes, and all you could drink. The band, Millennium, was awesome. We danced, we had a good time, etc. Great to be with friends. There was a sense that we all had grown up and moved on, and there was a bittersweetness I think for S that those days of being goofy guys partying and chasing girls were long past over. Not a sadness but a realization that those days are over. I guess we're not all married off yet, but at the same time, we've all moved on.

Happy Hours

I caught up with Kathy at Poste on Tuesday and Jenny W at Ceiba tonight. I don't tadhink I have seen Kathy in about a year. She is doing well, no new news to report. It has been nearly a decade since we've met and now that I think about it, the person I have known the longest in DC. Wow. Talking to Jenny, we were commiserating on friends who are pregnant, moving on to the next stages of our lives, and how just when you develop your niche, things advance and something changes. Not a bad thing by any means. But one day you are right out of school, living in the group house and not making any money and eating pasta every night or drinking dollar buds at Politiki.

Even the change between being 27 and 32 is stark enough. That was what, 2003? Then again, everyone got married then, and that was so traumatic at the time. But really, not much has changed. Kids change things more than anything. And I am fortunate to have girlfriends in the city who are at the same stage of their lives as I am, trying to come to grips with being older, being married or just about so, knowing that you do not want to be AMA (advanced medical age!) at the doctor, but knowing what reality often tells you.

We had dinner with the married people on Sunday, great red meat and shrimp and more desserts than we could consume. And it's great, and I would not want to be anywhere else. But wow, do times change and they change in good ways and different ways and crazy ways sometimes. But if Sal's college roommate could be having a baby and her little sister getting divorced, what else could change? Stuff to ponder six weeks, one day, and 15 hours from the wedding. I would like to think I will not change, not matter what stuff changes, and I will maintain these friendships and keep these circles of friends. But who knows where I will be at 42 years old...who knows what will change. It will be an interesting time.