Twenty Years Later...

Twenty years ago this week, I started college.

I thought of that because it's move-in day and 381 or so Freshman have packed up their bags and loaded their cars, driven miles away from home, and started a new chapter in their life.

I don't know if graduating high school or starting college is a bigger achievement or milestone. They both go hand-in-hand, of course. But I remember how much more I anticipated the later, because I truly thought it was a beginning I craved. No more lonely nights, no more shadows of past classmates or friends, no more regrets. College would make me different, maybe even more "normal."

Freshman year was tough, and in retrospect, I had too high of hopes. I immediately fell into old traps, because at heart I'm a "good girl." I was a little scared of partying and drinking, and I didn't know how to behave around guys. And the friends I made I was a little apprehensive about...I mean, I was so unsure I wasn't going to meet the "right crowd." I guess I knew in the pit of my stomach that I really hadn't...it all fell apart half-way through the year. And it really wasn't until a year later that I met my friends for life.

I think if I had advice for a college Freshman this week, it would be to listen to your gut, don't do anything that makes you feel raw in the stomach, but it's OK to go outside of your comfort zone. Sign up for a new club, take a class that really inspires you, say hello to someone who just may have been more "popular" than you were in high school, and it's OK to be a little lost. Those feelings won't last.

And most importantly, know that this isn't the last "first" you'll have. Whether it's your first post-college job, or grad school, or moving in with friends or a boy, or starting a second or third new job, there will be many other beginnings. So if this one isn't perfect, know that such a thing doesn't exist.

And have fun. Always have fun.

Fifteen

More to say from this past weekend, but fifteen years ago--May 16, 1998--I graduated from college. Wow. How times have changed, how time has moved on. I remember not having any idea of what would come next. It was so hard to envision myself after college--who would I be? What would I be like? I knew I was moving to DC, but I could not predict everything that would come next. Work. Husband. Travel. Friendships. Road trips. New family members. Mourning others.

High school was rough. College was fun, and I treasure those friendships. And I'm so glad that I maintain some of them years and years later. What came after has been even better. It's never perfect, and every year brings new opportunities to grow. But fifteen years later, my time at SMC still affects me. Its legacy propels me as I move forward in life. Cannot believe it's been 15 years since DQ runs, Toronto trips, Boone's, football games, the 'brare and the DH, dorm rooms without cable or internet, the Avenue, and that beautiful May day. I remember how sunny and clear and beautiful that day was, not a cloud in the sky. One unforgettable moment among many. 

Top Ten from the Weekend

1. Breakfast cookies.
2. Terrible service at Tru Orleans, though great food all around, particularly at the Atlas Room and the Argonaut. H Street classics. OMG that beef two ways was amongst the best of what I've eaten this year.  And the lamb ragout and desserts...
3. Making like six pots of coffee. And brunch at home!
4.  A fun game of Loaded Questions. Ridiculous.
5. Long walks and aching backs because we are getting old.
6. Spies and museums.
7.  Lots of lesbian talk.
8.  Our very high, hopefully, yelp rating.
9. Hanging out around the island and just talking.
10.  A weekend with good friends in DC. Gosh I already miss those guys.

Nostalgic

Yes, my eyes watered looking at the images from the 2011 SMC graduation. I cannot believe it has already been thirteen years. It was a beautiful blue day, with not a cloud in the sky, and I remember waking up that morning and thinking wow, I'm a college graduate.

And now it's been so long, now it will be 17 years since I started college, and that is nearly a half of a lifetime ago. It's amazing how slow those first 18 years are, and how fast the next 17+ go. It is such a milestone. Though now I think of how the parents feel, seeing their children so bright and so grow-up. That must go by in a moment or two. I hope I get to experience that one day. So bittersweet to me.

College Ask

Some obnoxious, immature SMC student called me last night, ostensibly to ask for a donation. She was giggling when she asked me how long it had been since I was back on campus (13 years almost) and then stammered when I pointed out there was little reason to go back when I was hundreds of miles away. I hung up after I told her that she wasn't conducting this impromptu questionnaire very well. I don't even think she apologized or asked if I had a few minutes of time.


The school's liberal drift will prevent me any time in the near future from donating money. Honoring lesbian radical feminist theologians and the likes of Howard Zinn don't cut it.  And hosting CodePink is ridiculous. Apparently the passive pink ribbon "non-violent" protesters, the likes of which are the same ones that would probably attack a Republican in Madison for daring to suggest curbs be imposed on union hegemony are not peaceful.  Codepink, which "is a women-initiated grassroots peace and social justice movement working to end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, stop new wars, and redirect our resources into healthcare, education, green jobs and other life-affirming activities," is completely unaccountable, and they don't have the faintest idea what peace is. Most of their members are hateful, narrow-minded bigots who accuse anyone who opposes their pro-extremist policies as being racist.  Apparently, after this country was attacked on 9/11, they decided that we should roll over and play accountable to our sins against mankind.  They are the ones who equate the actions of Ghaddafi with Governor Scott Walker.

I can rant on and on about the idiocy of the left. All I know is that I won't subsidize their narrow minded thinking on a campus I attended back in the mid-1990s. I'd rather start a scholarship fund for students to go to CPAC or to bring in a leading Catholic scholar like a Hadley Arkes or Robert George. Not Howard Zinn.

Reality Bites: 17 Years Later

Was Reality Bites really 1994? Did I really start college 17 years ago, nearly a half of a life ago? It's my own half-life.

Is this true: "It’s essentially a time capsule constructed entirely of flannel, denim, Big Gulps and pre-corporate alt-rock."  It was the era of flannel denim of freshman year, the myriad of slurpees, and the peak of Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Nine Inch Nails, etc. etc.

That does seem like a long time ago. Before the internet, cell phones being ubiquitous, ipods and ipads and everyone had a laptop.  And yet, that is a time I will never forget.

Toronto

I was procrastinating a bit writing this post, because it was a lovely weekend spent with good friends and I don't want to forget it. I really miss those ladies. I miss have a good friend here, who has known me forever, and will be there when I need them. And being able to be there for the friends. But hey....

We arrived and went to a super noisy, night-clubesque Spice Route. Once our ears stopped ringing, we went to Donna & Jeff's fantastic little condo right across from the Sky Dome/Roger's Center and Lake Ontario. So awesome...beautiful running trails and such a perfect location.

The next morning we went to the best brunch I think I've ever had. This great little French bakery. I had a quiche with the best eggs ever. So light and so fluffy. We walked along the lake and then went over to the Distillery District for Balzac's Coffee. Such a good chai latte! We walked around the Market. That night we had dinner at this Persian restaurant Banu. SO good too. I had a vodka sekanjebin with shaved cucumber and mint. We split nan o paneer (sirloin kabob) and a chicken kabob, along with a lentils salad. Finally we had martinis at an Irish bar because Pravda was closed. No, I did not get a tattoo!

Sunday we had brunch/lunch at Trattoria Nervosa and I had a funghi & formaggi pizza with mushrooms, prosciutto, gorgonzala goat cheese, and onions. SO good. Followed by yet more delicious coffee. Then we browsed and stalked celebrities in town for the Toronto Food Festival. Never saw them, just wasted time.

But the trip was not a waste of time. I remember thinking as we slowly walked along: slow down. You're going too fast. You're in a rush too often, and you don't take time to appreciate and savor and soak in the moment. The weekend went by far too quickly, and I don't know when I will see Michelle again. Luckily, Donna will be back, and I'm happy about that. But gosh, how long has it been since we were dorm neighbors. I looked at a few old photos last night, and I was both sad and bittersweet and happy at the same time. We had a fantastic weekend, and I am SO glad we did it.

Working Woes

There are days like today, when it's been a frustrating morning, that I really think it would be awesome to be SAHM.

Or maybe a college student. It's been sixteen years--nearly half my life--since I moved into the dorms as a freshman. Steve's commemorating 18. I remember college seeming like such an abstract concept back then, and now I barely remember the anticipation of going back to school, seeing old friends, and having some of that independence that seemed so elusive at the time.

I'm not in the camp that believes college is the best time of your life. I believe you have many wonderful periods in your life--the years of being single with your first paycheck, being engaged, being a new parent, having kids who are "people" and not babies who can't communicate with you, being an empty nester, etc. There is something special about college, because you rarely have time in your life to explore your academic passions with all of your best friends around you. It does go by far too quickly, and you do miss those days. I don't know if I'd go back, though, but I would have savored more if I could have known.

Sixteen years does seem an impossibly long time, at times. Having seen Donna last week, we briefly touched on the "would you have gone there again?" question that comes up every so often. I don't know, and we both had that sense of "well, it brought me along the path I'm traveling on now." There's always a sense of what other path I could have taken, though, that would have meant more or less success. But I wouldn't be sitting here, I don't think, with this ring on.

I guess you come to terms with your choices and move forward. And remember fondly, while not looking back to far, either.