I am still down. Still feel like I'm getting yelled at. I'm the one suffering when someone "flies off the handle." I don't want to be with my husband much, except when others are around, and I can pretend I'm feeling okay. I'm questioning lots of decisions I've made and am wondering if I am truly young enough to start over again.
I read lines like "That means you can't fix your angry partner. Not by being sweet. Not by being mean. Not even by being assertive...You need to focus your energy on yourself, not your partner. Figure out who you are. Take time with yourself instead of always thinking about him. Detach."
I am going to see friends, starting tonight. I am going to go "home" in four short weeks to a place I always feel safe. I am going to attempt to be less sad and less down. And I'm going to focus on what I need.
And if I still get yelled at...I will make a decision. "I can't take it anymore."
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