High School, Two Decades Hence

Next week marks my 20 year anniversary of graduating from high school.

That used to seem like such a long time. When you're a senior, that is longer than you have been alive. And the four years after high school seem unimaginable.

I'm glad I'm divorced from that time of my life, and I really have no real strong desire to go back if there's a reunion. There is a curiosity, but of course, that both killed the cat and Facebook ate it. So there's that.

So funny because I know from FB that two girls from elementary school are visiting DC right now. They could only be a few blocks away.

Those days seem like a lifetime ago, and truly they are. The disaster of prom, the baccalaureate mass, my speech, taking a few pictures. I was so shocked when I started college and so many people, especially my roommate, peppered their dorm rooms with pictures of friends from high school. I panicked because I really had nothing. So I stuck some up, to cover it up and not appear too weird.

It took about 18 months until I really felt in a groove post-HS. Those days are so tough, and whatever small amounts of happiness exist are so fleeting. But for so many, it's a happy time.

High school graduation seems less like an accomplishment to me than a given. Of course, everyone graduates. High school is a much larger milestone.

But nevertheless, I will be thinking about those days in May 1994 quite a bit over the next week. I'll think about the 18 year old that I was, how ready I was to break out of Michigan, how naive I was to think that graduation was a cure all and life would really begin again in August. And how I already would have regrets, about college and my social life and how I wanted to fit in. When I really should have just treated being myself as vindication for survival.

So if any 18 year old reads these words, know that this is just one day, and one stop, and one milestone. It's not everything. It's a pause to remember that so much more is to come in life, and disappointments at prom and at 18 are not everything. It's not what movies and TV shows build up to be. But it's something to celebrate, because you have survived this far. That is happiness.