Fifteen Years

I've facebook-chatted the last couple of nights with old friends from HS I hadn't seen or talked to in fifteen years. So strange...in some ways it feels like I was 17 years old just yesterday, and other days it feels like it was 150 years ago. Funny those connections of those who knew you then shape you as much, or even more, than those who shape you know. I don't know why their approval or interest is so very important, but I was one person then, elements of that girl remain, and new facets of me are even more present and critical to who I am now. Not as shy but still, not an athlete but someone who can knock out five miles after work on a treadmill, not fat but confident and strong and still smart.

And there are others from your past that you don't care to update with your life. Because they still cause nightmares. They still cause you grief, they still provoke tears. And does that make me a hypocrite? No. Forgiveness and distance cures much, but not all. Not all.